


There are songs you can't dance to

by NicoleCollard



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Baggage, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hugs, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 07:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoleCollard/pseuds/NicoleCollard
Summary: After the Trish Winterman case, Alec and Ellie start to realise they have feelings for each other, but life, fears and insecurities get in the way. Will they be able to get over their issues and be honest with each other eventually?
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Comments: 164
Kudos: 193





	1. Our bench

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again, everyone in the Broadchurch fandom.
> 
> I know I'm SO late to the party, but I just watched the show recently and I'm in love with Alec and Ellie. 
> 
> This story started as a one-shot, but there are currently seven chapters of it in my mind. 
> 
> I need to warn you: English is not my first language, so there'll be mistakes. I beg your forgiveness for all the typos, incorrect structures and prepositions, lack of fluency and non-British English words.
> 
> Try to enjoy! :)

Paul Coates's last mass was really good. It felt true and emotional.

In the last three years, Ellie had lost part of her faith in God and humanity, but Paul's words that morning had given some of it back to her. The church was crowded because everyone wanted to say goodbye to their vicar. Some of the attendees had never gone to the church before and didn't even believe in God, like her boss Alec Hardy, for example, but everyone was there to wrap Paul in their affection on his last day. It was their way of thanking him for his years of silent help and comfort, as well as a way of apologizing for kind of abandoning him.

When the service ended, the parishioners started to go out in a cacophony of laughter and natter. Ironically, the graveyard had never been more lively. People congratulated Paul and hugged him, shook hands with him or pat him on the shoulder. Everyone talked to each other as they were leaving, making plans for the rest of the day or commenting the latest news, specially the Trish Winterman case and the good job DI Hardy and DS Ellie Miller had done catching her rapists.

Ellie had stepped out of the church with her father and her lovely sons. Little Fred let go of her hand immediately and started chasing a butterfly. Tom went after his baby brother and lifted him in the air, which elicited a big laugh out of Fred. Ellie smiled at them and soon she spotted Hardy standing out there alone in his suit and tie, while Daisy talked to Chloe conspiratorially. It surprised Ellie that some of the people greeted him on their way down towards the graveyard gates. Alec nodded to them politely, still uncomfortable with the attention but more at ease than Ellie had ever seen him. She approached Hardy and elbowed him in the arm with a smirk.

“I see you're starting to make some friends here”, she teased. “It took you... what? Three years?”

“Shut up, Millah”, Alec said shaking his head, which made Ellie snort.

Her father and Tom, who was still carrying Fred in his arms, caught up with them and greeted Alec with a nod. Tom still felt a bit uncomfortable around Hardy, but yet he tried to smile at his mum's boss amiably. He deposited Fred on the floor as they saw Maggie and Paul approach them. The exchange between Paul and their group was brief and warm. Even Hardy made a joke.

When they finished saying their goodbyes to the vicar, Ellie's father took Fred's hand and led him away, while Ellie put her arm around Tom's waist and they walked together towards the exit, where the Latimers were waiting for them. She turned her head to see if Alec was following them, and then she caught sight of the cutest scene ever: Daisy Hardy was hugging her dad as if he were her hero. His face was touched and content. The world suddenly made sense to him, Ellie could see it in his features. Alec caught Ellie's glance over Daisy's crown and frowned at her soft smile. She could almost hear the “ _Shut up, Millah_ ” in the way he was looking at her.

Ellie and Tom were the first to reach the stone arch of the gates. Beth was already there chatting to Nige, while Chloe picked some primroses to distract her little sister. Mark was nowhere in sight, though. Beth placed her hand on Ellie's arm, and they smiled at each other, their beautiful friendship almost fully recovered.

“So, are you lot coming for lunch?”, Beth asked cheerfully, even though her eyes betrayed the sadness she carried inside.

“Sure”, Ellie nodded rubbing her arm. “I'll bring some cottage pie. Tom helped me cook it yesterday for the occasion.”

“Great”, Beth let go of Ellie's arm and caressed Tom's cheek. The boy blushed. There were still too many unsaid words of grief in Beth's gestures towards him. “See you at noon, then. Don't be late.”

“We won't.”

At that very moment, Hardy and his daughter finally caught up with them. Little Fred ran back to them as well, while his grandad talked to Maggie Radcliffe, and hugged Ellie's legs with a delighted squeal.

“Why don't you come too?”, Chloe invited Daisy, squinting in the bright sun.

When Daisy looked at her father with hopeful eyes, Ellie's detective senses told her that this was exactly what both teenagers had been talking about earlier. But Alec turned pale. Social gathering wasn't his thing at all. He'd had enough greetings and polite chatting for a month.

“Hm, I don't think-”, Alec started to say, but Beth didn't let him finish.

“There's no problem. We have enough food for you two.”

“C'mon, Hardy. You'll enjoy yourself”, Ellie encouraged him as she smiled at Daisy.

Little Fred jumped forward and grabbed Alec's hand, showing him his toothy grin. Alec looked down at the cheeky kid with curly hair, gaping. “To be honest, I-I was planning on...”, he improvised, “... taking Daisy out for lunch. To celebrate. The end of the case.”

Daisy blinked very quickly, a bit shocked, and only said, “Oh.”

“Aw, aren't you adorable?”, Ellie said nonchalantly. But she could swear that everyone and their mother had read the fleeting disappointment in her eyes.

Fred wasn't happy either. He pouted at Alec as he let go of his fingers, and this time he hugged the man's leg instead of his mother's.

“Your choice”, Beth shrugged and took Lizzie's small hand in hers to leave, then turned towards Ellie and Tom. “See you in a bit.”

“You'd better have some orange juice for Fred. He's obsessed with it lately!”, Ellie shouted after her friend while she walked away from them. Beth turned round and gave her a last nod in the distance as Chloe waved at Daisy.

“Well, I guess I'll see you later at our bench, then?”, Ellie said to Alec, but it was more a statement than a question.

“Our bench, Aye”, he nodded stroking Fred's hair absentmindedly, since the little boy was still clinging to his leg.

Behind their backs, Daisy and Tom glanced at each other frowning. _Our_ bench?

“Fred, sweetheart, go find your grandad or we'll be late and Beth will kill me. And Hardy will have to go to Beth's anyway to arrest her. And we don't want that, right?”

Fred shook his head against Alec's long thigh. Then looked up at him with his big, brown eyes and finally let go of him.

“G'bye, Uncle Alec”, he said with his tiny voice and then ran towards his grandad, followed by his mother's stunned eyes.

“Bye, wee Fred”, Alec responded in awe, even if Fred couldn't hear him anymore.

“He's so cute”, Daisy said to break the sudden silence.

“Oh, he's a little devil, don't let him charm you with his fluffiness. It's a death trap”, Ellie winked at her.

“Too late”, observed Alec in a very low voice that sounded like a sigh.

“Did you say anything?”, Ellie asked.

“No”, he replied quickly with a cough, tucking his hands in his pockets. Then he turned to his daughter. “C'mon, darling, let's go have some lunch, shall we?”

“Right. See you soon, DS Miller.”

“Oh, please, call me Ellie. Don't let your dad influence you on that!”

Daisy smiled at her and nodded. “See you soon, Ellie.”

Then Alec put his arm around his daughter's body and led her away from the Millers, with a last glance at Ellie over his shoulder. She followed the pair with her eyes as they left, her gaze fixed on Alec's thin silhouette, until they were out of sight.

“Mummy, Mummy!”, Fred's voice dragged Ellie back down to earth, and together with her family, she left the graveyard at last to go get ready for the lunch at Beth's. With the Hardys or without them, Ellie was determined to enjoy the afternoon with her friend.

****

Alec took Daisy to the first restaurant that came to his mind. It really was one of the few fancy ones he knew in Broadchurch too, to be honest: the one where he had had dinner with the date Daisy had chosen for him through that bloody app some days ago. The other places where he had ever grabbed lunch from in the past were the kind of stands Ellie liked, full of greasy, fried food.

They talked about the case, mostly. Daisy was genuinely interested in it, particularly in the job her father and Ellie had done. She knew better than anyone how hard both detectives had worked: she had barely seen her father during those days. Alec didn't want to fill her in on too many details, because she would always be his little girl and because he was still too affected by the case to relive it again so soon.

But they also talked about Daisy's feelings: the way she felt about the painful pictures and school, her difficult relationship with her mother, her friendship with Chloe, her plans for the future. Alec learnt that his daughter was mostly happy with him, that she liked Broadchurch even if she felt a bit uncomfortable due to the pictures stuff, and that she was a bit anxious about going to uni in a couple of years and leaving everything behind. She never talked about running away to her mother again, though, so Alec let out a metaphorical big sigh of relief.

When he finally paid the bill and they walked home in comfortable silence under the sun, Alec felt that some more barriers had been knocked down between him and his daughter. Of course, she was still a teenager and will always keep secrets from him, but he was sure Daisy knew now that she could count on him for whatever she needed. His chest was full of love for his daughter, and his now stable heart beat happily and in peace on that front.

"What was that bench thing about?", Daisy asked suddenly.

"What bench?", Alec didn't understand what his daughter was referring to.

"I don't know. The bench you talked about with Ellie this morning."

"Oh, that", he shrugged, but Daisy thought she'd seen her father blush. "Nothing, really. We always wrap up the cases on a bench by the seaside. We go through the things that still worry us, or just sit there in silence for a while."

"Hmm", Daisy's eyes were fixed on Alec's profile as they walked. "Does it help?"

"I think so. It's Miller who insists on going there. I think it helps her. It helps me a bit sometimes too to have someone there to talk to", Alec confessed and suddenly he turned his face towards Daisy. "But don't tell her I admitted it."

"Your secret is safe with me", Daisy assured him with a snort. Her father was still a big riddle for her sometimes. "Do you like them? The Latimers and the Millers, I mean."

"Aye, they're good people."

"Then, why didn't you accept their invitation today?"

Alec shrugged again and put his hands in his pockets, like he always did when he was nervous or wanted to hide something.

"They've been through a lot. I think both families need to rekindle and enjoy their friendship on their own. I'm afraid my presence there wouldn't help."

"Why not?"

"You already know the story, Daze", Alec was starting to feel uncomfortable with his daughter's questions, but he knew that if he wanted her to trust him, he had to give her some answers too. "It was me who caught the Latimer boy's murderer, Miller's husband. My presence is a constant reminder of their shared tragedy."

"I may be wrong, Dad, but I think they're well past that. I mean, not the grief, of course, but I think they consider you a friend by now. At least, I'm sure Ellie does."

"We're not friends, just colleagues. We have a professional relationship, that's all. And it's better not to mix one thing with the other for a whole lot of reasons."

"Is that why you still call her Miller after all these years? Are you afraid of having a friend or something?", Daisy pushed him as they approached their home at last.

"What's got into you, lass?", Alec asked a bit annoyed, opening the sliding door for her.

"Nothing, I was just wondering."

"I just got you back in my life, Daze. You're the most important thing I have and all I care about right now", Alec told her a bit too solemnly.

"Please, don't get soppy", she chided him while she took off her jacket and hung it on a chair. "You can look after me and have friends at the same time."

But Alec didn't reply to that. He disappeared into the kitchen to make some tea. He heard Daisy's steps behind him. She leant against the doorjamb and observed Alec's movements.

"Do you want a cuppa?", he offered his daughter.

"Yep", she accepted, still watching her father closely. "When are you leaving?"

"Later", Alec answered plainly without turning his head back to her.

Daisy sensed that their conversation was over.

"Fine. I'll be in my bedroom doing my homework."

"I'll bring you some tea when it's ready."

With just three steps of her long legs, Daisy approached Alec and kissed his bearded cheek briefly. Then she turned round with a flip of her long, blonde hair and left him alone in the kitchen.

Alec Hardy placed both hands on the counter and sighed.

Things were a bit more complicated than that. If Daisy only knew how difficult it was for him to not get attached. Everything was easier when he had personal relationships under control. He was doing fine so far. Why push it? Because his heart often skipped a beat whenever _she_ smiled at him? Because he felt the need to protect _her_ from harm after what she'd been through? Because he wanted to reach for _her_ whenever she cried even if she had made very clear where their boundaries were?

_Don't be nice to me, that's not how it works... I'm not hugging you..._

And despite how much it hurt, he did understand and respect her wishes. The tough process she'd been through, the mourning of her fake marriage, the grief of losing her life. The need to stop trusting everyone around her and to keep her distance.

And yet it had taken Alec almost two years to learn how to detach himself from his feelings. Two years of no messages or phone calls, only to run back to Broadchurch at the first opportunity. Only to see his walls almost crumble whenever she was around, with her big, brown, expressive eyes and her bloody innocent charm.

' _It's better this way. Don't get involved, don't get too attached_ ', he kept telling himself over and over again.

For Alec, it had always been like this. He usually didn't care what people around him did or how they fared. He wasn't exactly fond of his fellow humans, but he was willing to risk his own life to bring them justice. But then sometimes, someone who was truly worth it appeared in his life out of nowhere, and when he became aware of his feelings, it was already too late. Because when Alec Hardy started caring for someone, he cared with his whole heart.

And caring had always hurt him and had nearly cost him his life once. That was why he tried so hard to play it cool, to isolate himself, to stay away from social interaction, to stick to what he already knew. It was his way of protecting himself.

But hurricane Ellie had ruined his plans with her... everything. Her jokes, her dirty mouth, her annoying interest in him, her determination and stubbornness, her honesty, her astonishing resilience, her sensitivity, her sense of justice. Ellie bloody Miller.

The sound of the water boiling in the kettle brought Alec out of his reverie. He poured some hot water into the mugs and sighed. He needed to cool down and to not lose sight of the long way he'd come. He finally had Daisy back in his life and he was ecstatic for it. As he had told his daughter earlier, that was all that mattered right now.

After adding some milk to Daisy's mug, Alec grabbed it and went to the girl's room. The door was slightly ajar, so he could see his daughter lying on the bed face down, deep in thought, a notebook before her and a pen in her mouth. Alec admired her concentrated face with an adoring smile on his lips, still not fully used to her bright presence in his house. Then he knocked softly on her door and entered. Daisy didn't even raise her eyes from the squared sheet, but she acknowledged his presence with a growl that could perfectly mean either “Do not disturb” or “Thanks”. Alec placed the mug on her desk and left again.

He spent the next couple of hours reading a book by the big window in his sitting room, killing time until it was time to go see Miller. He didn't bother changing and only threw his coat over himself just in case. The seaside was always windy.

“I'm leaving, darling”, Alec informed in the direction of his daughter's room.

“Have fun!”, he heard her shout back.

“I'll be right back.”

Alec stepped outside and slid the glass door closed behind his back. With his hands in his pockets, he walked slowly towards the pier. Miller would be late, as ever. If she and her family were still enjoying themselves at the Latimers', he had plenty of time to reach the bench before her arrival. When he strode past the police station on his way, he looked up automatically and a couple of uniforms waved at him when they recognised their DI. Alec nodded at them in return and continued forward.

When the bench was finally in sight, his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Miller was already there wrapped up in her ugly, orange windbreaker, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her eyes fixed on the ocean. She had upon herself that air of sadness that barely left her features anymore when she didn't know someone was looking. As he kept approaching the bench, Alec saw her close her eyes and sigh. God only knew where her mind was right now. Miller's moment of vulnerability made Alec want to touch her shoulder in an attempt to bring her some comfort. But he didn't: he was afraid she wouldn't welcome it. When he was close enough, he only cleared his throat to warn her of his arrival and give her enough time to come back down to earth.

Ellie opened her eyes and there was a sudden change in her demeanour when she saw her boss. Even if her eyes were still melancholy, she smiled at Alec as he claimed the empty spot by her side on the bench for himself.

“You came early”, Alec observed, squinting in the sun. “The lunch with the Latimers... was it that bad?”

Ellie glanced at him with feigned annoyance, but in the end, she ended up smiling.

“Even you would have enjoyed it. You should come the next time and bring Daisy along.”

“We'll see”, Alec didn't promise anything.

“How's Daisy, by the way? Did she enjoy the date with her dad?”, Ellie teased him good-naturedly. She knew better than anyone that his past estranged relationship with his daughter had almost killed him.

"Fine”, he answered, ignoring Ellie's second question on purpose. "She'll get over it eventually. She's stubborn and brave."

"She's your daughter. I would be very disappointed if she weren't", Ellie commented and Alec almost blushed at the veiled compliment.

After that, they fell silent. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable anymore. It had taken them a few years to reach that point of ease with one another, but they were finally there. They trusted each other with their lives, their tandem was unbreakable. Most of their colleagues envied their solid partnership. They even enjoyed these moments in each other's company, though none of them would ever come to admit it out loud.

And yet, both wondered what the other was thinking right now.

After a while, they finally talked briefly about the case, their worries, about their kids. Alec wasn't really in the mood for an in-depth talk. Both were still a bit shook, it was pretty clear in the way they avoided some details. Ellie's great empathy wouldn't let her rest for a few days, at best.

And then, out of the blue, Miller was asking him to go to the pub with her.

Alec didn't move a single muscle of his face or body. Why on Earth would she make that suggestion? She knew he hated pubs. The loud music, the low lights, the strong smell of alcohol, the noisy people. It all grated on his nerves.

A part of Alec longed to say yes, though. The part that would reach for her right now to offer a friendly hand. But the other part, the rational part, -the cowardly one-, made him say no.

What was the point of going to the pub if he couldn't be himself around her, if he had to refrain every impulse to be kind to her? It was better this way, so he played it cool once again and looked at her with feigned nonchalance.

If he had done the right thing, then he couldn't understand why he felt so stupid and miserable when Ellie walked away from him. Alec kept his eyes fixed on her retreating figure for a few seconds, and then he lowered his head in defeat and went back home to his daughter, as he had told Ellie.

When he opened the sliding door, Daisy rushed past him on her way from the bathroom to the kitchen, a comb in her hand. She did a double-take when she saw her father step in and stopped in her tracks to look at him frowning.

"Dad? Why are you back so soon?"

“I told you I'd be right back”, he shrugged. Then he stared at his daughter suspiciously. “You going somewhere?”

“Ah, yeah. Chloe just texted me. One of her friends just got a projector and they're watching a film together this evening. I got invited. I thought you wouldn't be back until much later”, Daisy explained and then paused. “I though 'bench tradition' included celebrating.”

“No. I'd rather be at home with you.”

Daisy took a few steps towards him, her face a bit sad and guilty.

“But, Dad, I told you earlier. It's okay if you make plans on your own sometimes. I-I love spending time with you, and that's why I miss you when you're working on a case till late, but I also like... going out and socialise. It keeps me sane, you know?”

“Of course, darling. I understand”, Alec nodded in agreement. Even if he felt a bit disappointed, he knew Daisy was right: she needed to make new, good friends, specially after what had happened to her at school. He trusted the Latimer girl to take care of his daughter. Sadly, Chloe had grown beyond her years after Danny's murder.

“And you should too, really”, Daisy went on while she resumed combing her hair. “I can't believe you never went to celebrate. Ellie seems like a party person.”

“She suggested going for a drink, actually, but I hate pubs. Definitely not my thing”, Alec shared while taking off his coat.

Daisy blinked twice very quickly and, once again, stopped combing her hair.

“Dad”, she said slowly, slurring the word in disbelief. “Did you really reject Ellie twice today? Why? You get along quite well, she puts up with your-”

And then her blue eyes and her mouth opened wide as if she had just figured out something very big. Her eyes moved to her right, then to the left, thinking, maybe remembering. Then she brought her free hand to her mouth and gasped.

“Oh my God!”, Daisy exclaimed to her father's confusion. “How could I've been so blind?”

“Daisy?”

“It's no wonder you didn't want me to sign you up on that dating app!”, the girl kept on thinking out loud. Then she stared at Alec, her eyes bright. “It's Ellie. It's been Ellie all this time.”

“What? Don't be ridiculous”, Alec scolded her and tried to stride past her on his way to his bedroom, but Daisy stepped in front of him to block his way.

“Dad! That's the real problem here, right? You fancy Ellie”, Daisy insisted, grabbing her father's arm to force him to look at her.

Alec's face went pale at Daisy's insistence, and he cursed inwardly the detective genes he had passed on to her. He studied his daughter's eyes closely, weighing his options. With a sigh, he finally dropped his gaze from her lovely face and turned his back to her.

“I don't know, Daze. Things are more complicated than that.”

“They shouldn't be”, the girl could sense the defeat and insecurity in Alec's voice. “Why don't you ask her on a date and try to figure it out?”

“What? It would never work. I don't even know if I want to have anything with Miller, anyway. Besides, I'm sure she's not interested at all”, he waved her off.

Daisy stepped around her father to stand in front of him again. “C'mon, she just asked you to go to the pub with her. What else do you need?”

“That doesn't mean anything. It's just what colleagues do, apparently. She does it all the time with everyone.”

“Dad, please!”, the girl pleaded.

“Daisy, drop it.”

“You have nothing to lose!”, she argued.

“I have everything to lose!”, Alec shouted, which made Daisy step back slightly. “It may ruin everything. I may lose the smooth partnership we have for good, don't you see it? Things are okay the way they are right now. I'm sure she went to the pub anyway and had some drinks with her friends. She doesn't need me for that. We'll see each other at work tomorrow and both of us will carry on with our lives the best we can. And that's all it will ever be.”

Daisy shook her head at her father, a bit disappointed, “I know it didn't go well with Mum in the end, but it doesn't mean it has to be like that every time you try.”

“Miller's my DS, too. It would be the same all over again. I don't want to make the same mistake. Sorry, darling, but it is what it is.”

“If you say so”, Daisy shrugged and then walked away from her father, though she kept talking from the bathroom. “Keep being miserable all your life if you want. All I'm saying is that I'm leaving for uni in a couple of years and you'll be all alone again. It would do you good to have someone close who could take care of you for a change.”

Alec's heart skipped a beat, and he brought his hand to his chest in reflex. Sometimes, he forgot he already had a pacemaker working inside his body. It was true. Daisy would be leaving Broadchurch at some point, and it hurt him just thinking about it.

Daisy stepped out of the bathroom again, this time smelling of cologne. She put back on the jacket she had previously hung on the chair and approached her father.

“I don't think I'll be back in time for dinner.”

“Okay. Don't come back too late, though, you've got school tomorrow. And be careful”, Alec agreed, putting his hands in his pockets.

Daisy nodded and brushed past him on her way to the door. She planted a brief kiss on his cheek as she was leaving. When she reached the sliding door, she paused, a hand already on the glass, and turned round to look at Alec with a thoughtful expression.

“You know? You can deny it all you want, Dad, but now I know why you came back to Broachurch of all places and dragged me along: because Ellie was here. You may not have been aware of it back then when you made the decision, but it's pretty clear to me right now. I didn't know she meant something to you, but I like her. It's not as if you had to drop to one knee and swear your undying love for her, you know? Just-just try to be a bit more friendly around her. Be nice to Ellie, that's all I'm saying.”

_Don't be nice to me, that's not how it works..._

Alec dropped his eyes and pursed his lips, trying to prevent his daughter from getting the impression he was agreeing to it, and when he finally looked up again, Daisy was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to put Daisy in a lower year at school. I didn't feel ready to let her go so soon to college.
> 
> Again, sorry for all the mistakes.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are highly appreciated. :)


	2. I was passing, saw your light on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter!
> 
> Broadchurch fandom is definitely one of the most amazing ever. Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments on the first chapter of this story. :) I'm so grateful!
> 
> Enjoy!

That night, well past midnight, Ellie finally sat in her couch with a hot mug of tea in front of her. It had been a beautiful Sunday, full of good vibes. She'd spent some quality time with her friends and her sons at last. She and Beth had finally been able to set up a date for their next girls night for next weekend, which definitely was a not-so-small victory. After meeting Alec at the bench, she had come back home straight away, where Tom was playing with his X-box and Fred was willing to engage her in his games. They had ended up putting on some costumes and doing a theatre play for Ellie's father and Tom, who had played along and clapped anytime Fred saved his mum from a thousand different dangers.

Ellie was completely exhausted. So when her family was finally in bed, she decided to relax a bit in her sitting room before going to bed. And it was then, when she was more tired and vulnerable, that the weight and emotions of the last few days hit her with all their force.

She couldn't get the case out of her mind. That teenager who raped Trish... How could the world be so twisted and corrupt? They had ruined the life of a woman for pure fun, desire of power and their bloody selfishness. And to make things even worse, the boy was Tom's friend, the one who had initiated her stupid son in all that porn shit. What if Leo had chosen Tom instead of Michael? Would Tom have been able to do something like that too?

The idea made Ellie want to throw up and her eyes welled up. In her misery, she spared a thought for Daisy Hardy too. The poor girl had been given a taste of men's cruelty at a very young age. How dare they think they could do something like that? Ellie just wanted to choke every single one of them with her own hands. She hoped Daisy could really get over the whole nasty thing at some point and keep a bit of her innocence and hope intact.

The grief soon overcame her and she started sobbing. Ellie tried to muffle the noises with her hands, she didn't want her family to hear her cry. There had been a time when she had someone by her side to share her burdens with. But that someone had turned out to be her biggest nightmare, the man who had ruined her life and herself for good. More than two years had passed since everything had happened and Ellie still didn't feel strong enough to fully carry on. The worst thing was the cold that clung to her spine and limbs and didn't let her get warm anymore. God, she felt so, so lonely sometimes.

Ellie was still trying to wipe away her tears when she heard some rapping on the front door.

“What the hell...?”

She rubbed her eyes with the sleeves of her big, comfortable sweater to get rid of the last traces of tears and then she headed for the door. Wasn't it too late for a visit?

She opened the door and found Alec Hardy, of course, standing on her doorstep with his hands in his pockets and that everlasting air of uneasiness upon him.

“Hardy! What the hell are you doing here?”, Ellie asked in confusion. How did that man have the nerve to say no to a beer in the evening without batting an eyelid and then show up at her door past midnight as if it were the most normal thing in the world?

“I was passing, saw your light on”, Alec explained, using the same words Ellie had said at his doorstep two weeks ago.

“Don't be a twat. Is there anything you need?”

"No, I just… wanted to check on you", Alec said, noticing then her red-rimmed eyes.

"Is this you doing supportive boss again?"

"No."

"I'm fine."

"You've been crying", he pointed out.

"I don't wanna talk about it", Ellie crossed her arms in front of her chest. She didn't want to have a breakdown in front of Hardy again, specially after how curt he'd been to her earlier that evening. She'd tried to talk back then, when they were on the bench. That was what the bench was for, right?

"But I do. How did you put it? Whatever's going on in your life affects me too", Alec threw her words back at her once again.

“You're particularly annoying today.”

Alec rolled his eyes and tucked his hands deeper into his pockets. "C'mon, Millah, You know I'm not good at this. D-Don't make it more difficult. I came because I knew you would be brooding over the case and I wanted to know how you were doing."

Hardy being genuinely nice to her was something Ellie wasn't used to. It wasn't like them, right? His attempts at comforting her in the past had felt awkward and uncomfortable, as if he felt forced to do it just because he knew it was the right thing. He truly wasn't good at it. Ellie found his unexpected visit quite considerate, though, and her eyes filled with tears again, but she didn't let them fall. She swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in her throat, and Alec took advantage of her silence to speak again.

“Walk with me?”, he offered.

“Now?”, Ellie exclaimed in a hushed voice.

“You got better plans?”

“I'm going to bed!”

“Sleep is overrated.”

“Shut up and come in. I'll make tea”, Ellie opened the door to allow Alec in.

He stepped into her house, as he had done so many times before, and followed her to the sitting room, where she retrieved her abandoned mug of now lukewarm tea, and then both headed for the kitchen.

"Close the door", Ellie asked him as she reached for the kettle. "I don't want to wake the boys up. None of them. I don't know which one scares me the most, to be honest. My dad would be angry and judgemental, Tom would come down for something full of sugar to eat at this ungodly hour and Fred would start calling for me desperately."

Ellie was chatty on a daily basis, but the fact that she couldn't stop babbling let Alec know how nervous and worried she was.

While she heated up some water, he took the liberty to grab one mug from the cupboard. It wasn't the first time he came to her kitchen and they were well past the formalities. When the tea was ready, Ellie poured some milk into both mugs and placed Alec's on the breakfast bar, next to where he was standing. He nodded his thanks and pressed his right hand against the hot surface.

"Are you... really just going to stand there and be a knob and say nothing?", Ellie chided him, a bit on edge. His silence was driving her crazy.

"Okay, what's bothering you?"

"You", she let out. Her answer made Alec lift his eyebrows. "You're a real pain in the arse, you know?"

"Look who's talking", he shot back, which earned him a slap in the arm.

Shaking her head, Ellie turned her back to him and approached the table, where she collapsed on a chair. Resting her head on her hand, she sighed.

“Everything bothers me”, she said finally after a few seconds of silence and sipping from her mug. “I miss my mum, I can't put up with my dad sometimes, Tom's slipping through my fingers, I barely see my poor, little Fred... I've got two boys and I don't know how to make sure they won't become some kind of... some kind of pervs when they grow up! How do I raise them to be good men, Hardy? I don't want them to be like that little shit of Leo Humphries... or like Joe.”

Ellie said her ex-husband's name as if it were a curse. She covered her face with her hands and pressed her palms against her eyes, but when she removed them, she wasn't crying. Her expression was one of total exhaustion, though.

“They won't”, Alec assured her, his voice calm and unwavering.

“How can you tell? I feel like I'm failing them spectacularly. Tom was watching and sharing porn with his friends at school! What did I do wrong?”

“That's not your fault, Ellie”, her first name just slipped out of his mouth. “You just told me a few days ago: parenting is hard, and it's true. And Tom is a good lad. I bet he was just curious. I'm sure he already learnt his lesson.”

“I went apeshit when I found out, you know? I destroyed his laptop and phone right in front of him”, Ellie confessed.

“You what?”, Alec asked a bit disconcerted but trying to fight back a smile.

“I took a hammer to his laptop and phone”, Ellie repeated biting her lower lip.

Then they couldn't contain it anymore and let out a chuckle at the same time. It was the most marvelous sound ever.

“God, Millah, you scare me sometimes”, Hardy admitted after taking a deep breath and a sip from his mug. “Now that I'm thinking about it, I ripped up Daisy's train ticket too. Am I becoming like you? How far am I from smashing devices?”

“It's not funny, you wanker”, Ellie scolded him, still wiping away the tears the laughter had brought to her eyes. When she could talk again, she was almost back to her serious self. “I'm losing it.”

With slow movements, Alec approached the table Ellie was seated at and perched on it carefully. He folded his hands and rested them on his thigh. Words weren't his thing, but he thought that at least he could literally show Ellie that he was there for her.

“You're doing a good job with them, don't worry. The lessons you're teaching them will sink in at some point”, he promised, staring down at her from his higher point on the table by her side.

“Look at you, giving me parenting advice. How the tables have turned”, Ellie joked half-heartedly. A moment of silence passed between them before Ellie went on, rubbing her temples. “It's been two hard weeks. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. I know this case got under your skin too.”

Alec looked away from her towards the window, his fingers still laced together on his thigh.

“Aye”, Alec agreed, but he didn't elaborate. Dropping his eyes to his hands, he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Listen, Millah, I-I'm sorry if I shouted at you. I-I was under so much pressure to catch the abuser and it felt like my responsibility to-to prevent him... them from-”

“It's alright. You have a daughter. I understand you were worried for Daisy.”

“For Daisy, for you...”, Alec trailed off. He stated it matter-of-factly, without making a fuss of it.

Ellie's eyes got impossibly bigger when she heard his clarification and her features clearly softened.

“You were worried for me?”

“'Course”, he shifted uncomfortably. “You're a woman, aren't you?”

“Aw”, Ellie bit her lip and her eyes welled up once again that night. 

In a reflex, she reached for Hardy's laced fingers and he took her hand between his folded ones. That was a first, the first bloody time in three years that Ellie Miller had let him hold her hand.

She tensed imperceptibly when she realised what she had just done, but decided it was better not to start panicking, not when Alec Hardy had accepted her gesture and was rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb absent-mindedly. Besides, she was so tired of fighting against the world, so tired of showing her brave and strong façade to everyone... What harm could a friendly gesture like this do? Ellie was so starved of human touch, human warmth, human affection, that she cherished the sensation of having her boss, no more no less, stroking her hand.

Ellie tried to stop one rebellious tear from falling with the knuckles of her other hand. Alec looked down at her pursing his lips, as if he were debating with himself about whether he should speak or not.

“Do-Do you want a hug?”, the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

With a sob, Ellie raised her teary eyes to his face. “Are you nuts?”

Alec started to remove his hands form hers visibly embarrassed, cursing himself inwardly for ruining the mood.

“Sorry, it's-”

“Of course I want a hug”, Ellie didn't let him finish.

Startled, Alec stared at Ellie in silence for a heartbeat, the one his heart had just skipped, and then held out his hands to her as an invitation. Ellie didn't hesitate to take and use them as a leverage to stand up from the chair, then she stepped into Alec's personal space and let him wrap her in his arms.

Alec held Ellie softly at first, as if she were made of glass, as if he were afraid of ruining the moment. Both were a bit stiff and tense, perhaps out of habit, perhaps because they were feeling too many unexpected and confusing things at the same time. But soon Ellie started to relax and tightened her grip around his shoulders, which made Alec dare to hug her closer.

Ellie's damp cheek was pressed against his. With Alec still perched on the table, they were almost the same height. He could feel her warm breath on his neck every time she exhaled. She could feel his fixed heart drumming against her chest.

And, for the first time in three years, Ellie didn't feel so cold.

The hug lasted only a few seconds, and when they finally broke apart, they didn't dare to look into each other's eyes. A simple hug had been enough intimacy for two people who had suffered from years of loneliness.

It was Alec who spoke first, apparently calm and nonchalant.

"Better?"

Ellie nodded, still not looking at him. "Yeah, thanks. But don't get used to it."

"Nevah, Millah", Alec said raising his hands in surrender. He cleared his throat for the umpteenth time that day. "Hmm, I'd better go now. If Daisy wakes up and sees I'm not home, she'll worry."

"'Course", Ellie agreed. She smoothed her long sweater and led the way from her kitchen to the front door. She opened it carefully, trying not to make any noise, and Alec stepped out, his hands back in his pockets. "Thanks for coming. That was some good supportive boss stuff."

It wasn't, but Alec didn't correct her.

"Well, see you tomorrow, then."

"Yeah."

"Night, Ellie", he said and turned round to walk away from her house.

"Night, Alec", she wished back, and then she suddenly realised that both had just used each other's first names without thinking.

Ellie followed Alec's retreating figure until it disappeared from sight. What a puzzle the man was. With a sigh, she locked the front door again and went upstairs at last. She was so knackered that she couldn't wait to fall in bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, Ellie fell asleep, a content, involuntary smile tugging at her lips. For the first time in years, no nightmares plagued her dreams.

When Alec reached his home twenty minutes later, he let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding. His whole body was still tingling with excitement. He opened the back door slowly to not wake up Daisy and retreated to his bedroom straight away, looking forward to lying down at last. There were a whole lot of pleasant emotions and bad memories from the last few days coming back to him, and he definitely needed to rest if he wanted to be fresh the next morning to fill out the paperwork.

When the door to Alec's room finally clicked shut, a pair of young, blue eyes opened in the dark, and their owner smiled with hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, let me know what you think. :)
> 
> Thank you!


	3. Parenting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Let's go with chapter 3.
> 
> Thank you so, so much to all of you who are reading this story. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Daisy hated Mondays.

She had never liked school very much, but since she had enrolled in year 12, she had started to appreciate -well, kind of- the pleasure of learning. The subjects she had chosen for her AS Levels were varied and interesting, in her opinion, so she had found some motivation to keep going. But Mondays were still hateful.

When her first class period was over, she went out to the playground for her fifteen-minute break. There was an empty picnic bench near the football pitch where she used to sit. At first, she sat there alone, but now Chloe often joined her. Indeed, Daisy spotted the Latimer girl walking towards her at that very moment. Her budding friendship with Chloe was kind of saving Daisy at school and she was truly thankful for it.

“Hey”, Chloe greeted her.

“Hi.”

“I hate Mondays”, Chloe confessed, dropping her school bag on the floor and joining Daisy on the bench.

“Me too.”

Suddenly, someone pulled Daisy's plait from behind softly. Frowning, she looked back and found a very fit, tall, brunette boy she didn't know standing there. His broad shoulders almost blocked the few feeble rays of sun that filtered through the clouds.

“What are you doing?”, Daisy told him off.

“Are you Daisy?”

“Who's asking?”

“I must say you're even hotter in person”, the guy said and then looked far off to his left, where two more blokes were watching him with fear in their eyes. Daisy knew them: her dad had scared the hell out of them a couple of days ago for the picture stuff.

She paled and clenched her jaw. “Piss off.”

“C'mon, it was a compliment. Don't be shy.”

“She told you to fuck off, Isaac”, Chloe said as she got up to face him, visibly cross.

“Don't get jealous, Chlo. I'd screw you both”, Isaac ran his revolting eyes over Chloe's body.

Utterly disgusted by his nastiness, she tried to push him away, but she wasn't strong enough, the guy was twice her size. Daisy sprang to her feet immediately and stood by Chloe's side. Daisy wasn't short, but Isaac was still almost an entire head taller than her.

“Leave us alone, tosser! We're not interested”, she shouted, starting to lose her temper. She was so fed up with these machos. She wanted to yell at him: ' _Ask your little friends what my dad threatened them with_!', but she knew it would do her no favours to hide behind Daddy's skirts.

Isaac stepped into Daisy's personal space and put his arm around her shoulders in a quick move that intended to be flirty, or sexy, or whatever.

“Oh, I love me some tough girl, D. Can I call you D?”

She shrugged his arm off, her heart beating so furiously against her chest that she could have done anything. Her sight blurred with rage and was about to push him away with all the strength she had, when a flash of navy blue and blonde pounced on Isaac and he disappeared from sight.

“Stop bothering them, wanker!”

Daisy gasped in confusion and looked down, where big Isaac was trying to shake off a boy who had him pinned to the ground. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. Since Isaac was bigger and stronger than the other boy, he soon managed to free one of his arms from under the lad's knees and punched him in the face. The unknown boy fell backwards, his nose bleeding abundantly, and it was then that Daisy recognised him.

Tom Miller.

****

Ellie hated paperwork.

All the way to the station, she couldn't stop thinking about the tedious morning she had ahead. They had reports to fill out, documents to classify, exhibits to put away... At least, she wasn't as tired as she thought she would be after everything that had happened in the past two weeks. Plus, Ellie felt quite satisfied with the work she and Hardy had one.

Hardy.

Her mind travelled back to last night without her permission, back to her kitchen, where Alec had hugged her. She could barely believe it, but she had felt kind of safe in her partner's arms, as if part of the weight she was carrying on her shoulders had been lifted at last.

Alec grouchy Hardy.

Ellie had to admit that she was a bit nervous to see him again. She couldn't put her finger on the exact reason why, but it might have something to do with Alec's tendency to avoid all the emotional stuff. He had almost run away from her home after hugging her. Would he start to behave awkwardly now? And why was she making a fuss of a bloody hug, for God's sake?

All her worries disappeared when she showed up at the station and Hardy told her off for being late, as usual. Then she told him to get stuffed and their invigorating banter followed them into Alec's office, where they started filling out a thousand reports, going over the evidence they had collected and making tea for each other. They shot curious glances at each other sometimes, when they thought the other wasn't looking, as if they were trying to figure out something. Otherwise, their dynamic was pretty normal.

After two hours of having their noses stuck in papers, Alec told Ellie that they should call Leo Humphries's girlfriend, Danielle, to ask her to come to the station. She still hadn't made her statement, and now that the criminals had been caught, the girl would have to change some of her declarations. Besides, those new details she might add could be used in court to win the trial against Leo and Michael.

After dialling five times without getting an answer, they decided to go to her place just in case something had happened. Ellie thanked her luck inwardly: it would take them at least one hour to go check on her and come back. One hour away from paperwork was a small but treasured victory at this point.

They went downstairs and into the carpark, and both got in Ellie's car. Even though Alec could drive now, he'd rather let Ellie do it. The ride was short and uneventful, and they spent it arguing about the kind of music Ellie liked listening.

In the end, it turned out nothing had happened to Danielle: she was still sleeping when they had phoned her. After a few knocks on her front door, she opened it to Alec and Ellie, who reminded her her duties and walked away from the house. Alec was fuming and started ranting about the people who enjoyed wasting his time.

Things got interesting on their way back to the station, though.

Ellie's phone started buzzing midway, and she connected the car speakers to get the incoming call.

“DS Miller.”

“Good morning, Mrs Miller”, a female voice greeted her. There was a note of steel in her tone. “I'm the headmistress of Tom's school. We talked two weeks ago in regard to some trouble your son had gotten himself into.”

Ellie exhaled and started to fear the worst. “Oh, no, what happened now?”

“I'm afraid to inform you that he got engaged in a fight with a fellow student this morning.”

“What?”, Ellie almost lost control of the wheel. With a swift movement, Alec reached for it in an attempt to steady the car.

“We're still investigating what happened, because there are more students involved, but we would like you to come to the school as soon as possible to have a meeting.”

“R-Right, I'll be there in fifteen, I'm on my way. I'm so sorry”, Ellie said, both embarrassed and angry, then she ended the call.

She sensed Alec's eyes on her face, but she didn't dare to look at him or she would start shouting, or hitting something, or crying. What the hell happened to Tom?

“I'll drop you off at the station before I go deal with my son”, she muttered between gritted teeth, making a big effort to sound calm.

“No. Go to the school first. I'll get a cab there”, Alec assured her.

Ellie went on driving for thirteen more minutes, to be precise, swallowing hard and taking deep breaths to try and slow her heart rate. When she finally parked the car in front of the school and switched off the engine, she bent forward and leaned her forehead against the wheel, her face hidden behind her hands.

Alec was there to witness her breakdown one more time. He stayed silent, letting her try to control the sobs that were threatening to overcome her.

“I swear to you I'm not weak. I swear it...”, Ellie stated, her words muffled by her hands.

It was heartbreaking to see her like this. Alec brought his hand to her shoulder without thinking and stroked it comfortingly.

“I know.”

“This is... too much. I don't know what else to do. I'm both Mum and Dad, I work non-stop for him to have everything he needs, I love him with all my heart... Why isn't it enough, Hardy? Why?”, Ellie got her frustrations out of her chest with a wail.

Alec didn't have the answer, so he didn't respond. He just kept rubbing Ellie's back soothingly for one or two minutes, enough time for her to start calming down. The nature of the warmth his hand provided her with was beyond Ellie's comprehension at the moment.

“C'mon, Ellie. Don't let them see you cry”, he whispered tenderly, his hand now closer to the base of her neck. Ellie could feel his fingertips brushing her skin and shivered.

He was watching her rub her eyes with a tissue she had just produced from her pocket when his phone started buzzing. Without his glasses on he couldn't make out the name on the screen, even if he tried holding his mobile at arm's length.

“DI Hardy.”

Ellie saw him frown and a deep wrinkle appeared on his brow. After a few seconds, she heard him ask. “Is she in trouble?”. Clearly the answer didn't please him, because he sighed tiredly. “Okay, I'll be there in five minutes. Thank you.”

Alec put down his phone and looked at Ellie, who was staring at him as if he'd grown a second head.

“Guess what. Daisy got in trouble too.”

“Oh my God! Was it because of Tom? I'm going to kill him”, Ellie grabbed her bag and opened the car door without waiting for Alec.

He had just closed his door shut when his phone buzzed again.

“Shit”, he cursed and pressed the green button to unlock the incoming call, while he trailed after a very annoyed Ellie across the school grounds. “DI Hardy.”

“Dad?”, Daisy's voice sounded urgent on the other end.

"Daisy, what happened?"

"Are you with Ellie?", his daughter asked again, and that gave him pause.

"Yes, we just arrived at the school. Why? What's going on?"

"It's a long story, we'll discuss it later. I'm in the toilet and if they catch me on the phone, I'll get in real trouble", she said in a very low and quick voice. "Please, Dad, make sure you don't leave Ellie alone. And don't let her tell Tom off. It wasn't his fault."

"But what…?", Alec tried to cut in, but his daughter went on.

"He was just defending me from a stupid abuser."

"Sweetheart, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, but Tom got a broken nose and a black eye. Ellie's going to panic when she sees his face. Promise me you'll stop her if she starts scolding Tom."

"Okay, okay. I will. See you in a bit", Alec said and put down his phone as they stepped into the school vestibule.

Ellie headed for the headmistress's office straight away and Alec followed her, but she was so angry that even though he had longer legs, he was having real problems to fall into step with her.

"Daisy just phoned", he informed her from behind. "Don't be alarmed, okay? She told me Tom got some mild injuries in the fight, but he's alright."

Ellie didn't stop or look at him. With her jaw clenched and her hands balled into fists, she kept striding towards the end of the hallway.

"Millah, listen to me, it wasn't Tom's fault", Alec tried again, reaching for her arm to make her stop, but it was useless: she had already spotted Tom hunched on a bench in front of the headmistress's office, with Chloe at his side. Ellie sped up and Alec went on. "He started the fight only to defend my daughter from an abuser, okay?"

Ellie stopped dead, her breathing shallow and rushed, and Alec almost bumped into her. Her eyes went so wide that Alec could almost read her raw emotions in them like in an open book. His hand went to her elbow, just in case she needed support, but before he could touch her, Ellie was already running towards her son, who removed a bag of ice from his face and sprang to his feet immediately.

"Please, Ellie, the lad was just…"

But Ellie didn't intend to scold her son anymore. To everyone's surprise, she threw her arms around Tom's neck and hugged him tight. The boy was so shocked and in pain that it took him a few seconds to react. Then he hid his face in his mum's neck and let her hold him.

At that very moment, Daisy came out of the toilet, and when she saw her dad, she went straight to him. Alec brought his hand to the back of her head and pulled his daughter into a hug.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, Dad. I'm worried for Tom, though", Daisy said breaking the embrace, and then she led the way to the spot where Ellie was still hugging her son. When they reached them, Alec greeted Chloe with a nod and Daisy filled them in on the details of the story. "A bloke started harassing Chloe and me, and suddenly Tom appeared out of the blue and knocked him down. It was awesome, really."

"Yes, Ellie, you should have seen him", Chloe added, and her voice betrayed how proud she was of her neighbour and the boy who had once been her brother's best friend.

Then Chloe joined the Millers' embrace, hugging Tom from behind, and held out a hand to Daisy. Alec's daughter threw one arm around Chloe's shoulders and took her dad's hand in her free one. Alec was so overwhelmed by the whole parenting drama that he almost missed how Ellie leaned slightly into him, her back pressed against his chest. He then put his free hand on her waist and the big family hug was complete.

When they broke apart after a few seconds, Ellie placed her hands on both sides of Tom's face to study the injuries. Not even Picasso would have done a better job disfiguring him. The skin around his left eye had started turning a deep shade of purple and some pieces of cotton had been stuffed inside his broken nose. He had some troubles breathing, and winced noticeably every time someone touched his right shoulder or hip.

It was Alec who found out about the shoulder bruise when he placed his hand there to thank the lad for defending Daisy. Tom just nodded at him and blushed, his battered cheeks still squeezed between his mum's hands.

Then the door to the headmistress's office opened and a big guy stepped out, holding a gauze against his neck. He closed the door behind his back and balled his hands into fists. When he spotted Tom, Daisy and Chloe, his eyes filled with hate and rage and he raised his fist at them menacingly, ignoring the two adults. Fortunately for all of them, Ellie didn't see it, since she had her back to him and was still making sure Tom was alright.

But Alec did. He wasn't a violent man, although he could be very irascible when someone threatened his family. Leaving Ellie and the three kids behind, he took a few steps in the guy's direction with an admonitory finger raised at him.

"You trying to intimidate someone, mate?", Alec asked squinting at him.

"Leave me alone, old fogey."

Alec's jaw muscles clenched.

"No, you're going to listen to me. I'm going to warn you just once: if you ever look at my daughter again-"

"Stop pestering me and teach your daughter to respect herself if she wants men to respect her", the rude young man spat.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, you little shit?", Ellie yelled at him. She strode past her partner as quick as a flash and would have pounced on the boy if not for Alec, who held her back with an arm around her waist. He'd seen her beat the hell out of her ex-husband and he didn't want to have to deal with another similar episode. But still she kept shouting at the bloke. "You're absolutely no-one to tell this girl what she can or cannot do! She's worth ten of you. You're-"

"I don't-", the guy cut in, but Ellie was well beyond the point of measurement.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! You're just an insignificant troglodyte with an inferiority complex only bigger than your ego. I swear to you that if you ever get near any of these kids again, I'll make you suffer so much that, when I'm done with you, not even the vultures will want to feed on your stinky carrion."

Alec's eyes went wide at Ellie's harsh words, his arms still around her waist in an attempt to restrain her. He could learn some threatening tricks from her, now that he thought of it. God, she was a master at this. The guy in front of them was looking at Ellie Miller as if he had seen a zombie.

"I could report you for threatening me", the little shit had got some nerve.

"Yeah, do it. I'm a cop, I'll process your request myself. Or I could sue you for sexual harassment and physical abuse. Do you prefer that?"

"You can't, I'm underage", he pointed out.

"Not for long, I presume", Alec said. "Someday you'll come of age. And we'll be waiting for you out there, watching you."

"So be a good boy and fuck off", Ellie dismissed him right when the door of the headmistress's office opened again. Of course, the woman heard her last words.

"Mrs Miller! Please, get a hold of yourself. We can't tolerate this behaviour here", the headmistress scolded her. Alec let go of Ellie's waist at once. "Please, follow me inside, we need to talk. Isaac Mitchell, go collect your things."

The big, rude guy turned his back on them with a mixture of hate, uncertainty and frustration in his eyes and went upstairs. Then Ellie and Alec followed the headmistress inside, but only after shooting reassuring glances at their children.

When they sat down opposite the woman, Alec realised that he didn't like the sensation of being at the other end of the table, while Ellie felt uncomfortable because it looked like they were there as a couple.

The meeting lasted around fifteen minutes. In summary, the headmistress informed them of what had happened and the resolutions adopted.

Isaac Mitchell would be expelled for his actions as soon as his parents came to the school and signed the documents. There wouldn't be any consequences for Daisy or Chloe, since they had been the victims. As for Tom, even if he had acted with chivalry and the headmistress admitted that she was proud of his attitude change, violence was never an option. He wouldn't be expelled, though, just forced to help the school librarian to catalogue books during the breaks for two weeks. Ellie was told to take him to the hospital as soon as possible and let him stay home a few days until he felt better.

When Ellie and Alec went out at last, Beth was already there, chatting with their children. She and Ellie hugged and reassured each other, while Alec checked on the kids. Tom was feeling a bit dizzy. After kissing Daisy goodbye and making sure she was alright, Alec offered to help Tom walk to his mum's car. Ellie waved at Daisy, Chloe and Beth, and led the way to the carpark, while Tom leaned on Hardy's shoulder for support. Alec helped him get in the passenger seat and, when the boy was fastening his seat belt, he put a hand on his shoulder again.

“Thanks for what you did today. You're a good lad”, Alec told him, then closed the door and turned round to face Ellie.

“We could drop you off at the station on our way to the hospital”, Ellie offered, but Alec shook his head.

“Ah, no. Just take him to the doctor. I'll call a cab.”

“Are you sure?”

“Aye, Millah”, he insisted. “You should maybe... take the rest of the day off.”

“But the paperwork-”

“I'll do as much as I can on my own. Don't worry about that now. You'll catch up tomorrow.”

“Okay, supportive boss”, she agreed with a teasing smile, glancing over Alec's shoulder at her son, and after a pause, she folded her arms across her chest. “It turns out we're not doing such a bad job with our children, after all.”

“I told you. They're upright and noble, which doesn't mean they can't make mistakes”, a pause, as if he wanted to add something else on the matter, but he didn't in the end. “Take care of him. See you soon, Millah.”

He brought his hand to her forearm and squeezed it softly before going away. Ellie followed him with her eyes for a few seconds, a tiny smile plastered on her lips. She had noticed that he was becoming more touchy since last night. It was as if he felt more at ease around her all of a sudden. Not that Ellie minded. She kind of liked his reassuring strokes, pats and squeezes. It was just a bit confusing.

When she looked back at her son, Tom was staring at her from behind the window, a mischievous grin on his battered features that made him look like a mad man. Ellie shot him a warning glance and walked round the car to sit in the driver seat.

“I'm so proud of you, Tom”, she stated taking his hand in hers. “I just want you to know.”

Tom said nothing, but he acknowledged the praise with a nod. Then he sat more comfortably in the passenger seat with a groan of pain and closed his eyes while his mum drove him to the hospital. Ellie thought her heart would explode with the love she felt for her son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how many secondary schools there are in Broadchurch, but I decided that Chloe, Tom and Daisy attend the same one.
> 
> I had to do some research about UK educational system to learn about the examinations, about the 13 years... And one of the things I realised -that has nothing to do with this story but with the show- was that the week Tom got expelled from school on the show (when he shared those porn vids) they didn't have class at all in the UK according to 2015/2016 academic calendar: they were on holidays for one week in the early days of June. LOL
> 
> I like Daisy, by the way.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


	4. The Scottish black bun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4!
> 
> I'm uploading the chapters this quickly because I have the whole story practically written. I don't trust myself with finishing my works, so before making you all suffer because of an unfinished fic, I try to never upload the first chapter until I have the whole thing planned and mostly done. I keep rewriting bits and checking for spelling and grammar non-stop in the meantime. It takes me AGES to write in English.
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes! Enjoy!

When Alec went back home that Monday, earlier than usual, Daisy was waiting for him in the living room, and she sprang to her feet the moment she heard her dad open the back door.

“At last!”, she almost shouted in relief.

“You alright?”, Alec asked frowning as he put away his keys.

“Yes. I need your help. Chloe and I thought about going to see Tom this evening around seven, and I want to bring something cool, but I don't know how to cook it.”

“What are you thinking of?”

“Do you remember that cake you used to make on New Year's Eve when I was a child? The Scottish one?”

“The black bun?”

“Yeah!”, Daisy's eyes were bright with happiness. “Will you help me bake it?”

“Ah, it's been a long time. I don't know if I'll remember the recipe...”, he said as he started to take off his blazer.

“Of course you will!”, Daisy encouraged him. “Oi, don't take that off. We need to go to the shop to buy the ingredients.”

****

And that was how, an hour later, Alec Hardy found himself covered in flour and beaten eggs. To be honest, he'd enjoyed himself immensely. Actually, he couldn't remember the last time he'd been so happy. Spending time with Daisy was a dream come true, and seeing her so relaxed and giggly, the best gift ever.

During the two hours it took the cake to bake in the oven, Daisy had her homework done, told her dad that Chloe had invited her to their girls night at Beth's on Saturday, told him everything about that morning incident, informed him that the Latimer girls planned on bringing Tom a get-well-soon card and a videogame, and invited him to come along.

Alec tried to turn down her invitation, but Daisy insisted so much that he ended up accepting.

When they finally took the cake out of the oven, they were all smiles. The black bun looked incredibly good! Daisy only hoped it tasted as nice as it looked. Driven by an impulse, she hugged her dad to thank him for helping her. Then she left the kitchen to get ready, as she shouted at him to change into something less full of flour.

“Not a suit, please!”, Daisy added from her bedroom.

But Alec didn't own a lot of casual clothes, so he chose a dress shirt and some trousers. Daisy shot him a judgemental look when he emerged from his bedroom.

“We need to buy you new clothes, Dad. Chloe told me there'll be a party on the beach on Friday to celebrate Midsummer, and you definitely can't show up in a suit”, she reflected, while she put the cake inside a box and then a bag.

“That won't be a problem at all. I won't show up”, Alec promised.

“But everyone's going”, she complained with a pout.

“Exactly.”

Daisy rolled her eyes and said nothing else. She knew the battle was lost... for now. With time, she'd find a way to drag him along.

Father and daughter walked to the Millers' home side by side. Alec ended up carrying the cake all the time, since Daisy spent most of the walk texting Chloe. It occurred to Alec that Ellie might not  know they were coming, but if Beth Latimer had agreed to it, he was sure it was alright.

The Latimer girls met the Hardys outside their home, and together they headed for Ellie's. Little Lizzie was incredibly excited, while Chloe and Daisy tried to play it cool, but it was clear that they were thrilled too. They kept their voices low to avoid alerting the Millers to something happening outside.

It was Ellie who opened the front door, and her expressive face went from surprised to delighted in just two seconds when she saw them all on her doorstep. She invited them in, stroking the girls' cheeks warmly as they walked past her. Then she hugged Beth, who was carrying Lizzie in her arms, and instructed her to go to the back garden, because her dad had settled down in the sitting room. And finally, Ellie smirked at Alec with her eyebrows raised.

"Wow, Hardy, what lie did the girls tell you to make you come?"

"That you would be angry if they showed up and I didn't."

"Well, that wasn't a lie", Ellie assured him, which made Alec roll his eyes. "So you care if I go mad at you?"

"I couldn't care less, Millah", he said nonchalantly.

"'Course", she giggled and grabbed him by the arm to make him step inside. The brief contact made Alec shiver.

They all went to the back garden, where Tom was comfortably seated on a deck chair listening to music, while little Fred played with his toys on the ground beside his big brother. Tom's face was hidden under an ice pack. When Chloe touched his shoulder softly, he removed the ice pack to look at them and sat up a bit.

The sight was scary.

The skin around his left eye was swollen and black, as well as both his cheeks. His nose was covered with a dressing that hid the wound. Ellie told them that Tom had been diagnosed with a mild nasal fracture, so it would take his nose around three weeks to heal. All praised his noble actions again and tried to cheer him up with jokes and nice words, while Ellie went back to the kitchen to make tea for all. In the meantime, Beth and Chloe took out some more chairs for all to sit around Tom.

"Sorry, Ellie, where can I put this?", Daisy asked, showing her the box she was now carrying in the bag.

"What's that, sweetheart?"

"It's a cake for Tom. Well, for you all."

"Oh, thank you so much! You didn't have to-"

"I know, but I wanted to. Actually, it was my dad who baked it", Daisy explained pointing at Alec, who was right behind her. The look he shot his daughter could have made her disintegrate. "It's a Scottish cake."

"Really?", Ellie took the bag from Daisy's hands, looking at Alec as if he had just done a triple somersault before her eyes. "Well, let's try it, then."

While Ellie cut the black bun and divided it up, she could hear the lively noises that came from the back garden. Lizzie and Fred couldn't stop giggling and shouting and running, happy to have so many people around. Chloe and Daisy chatted to Tom and filled him in on the gossips he had missed when he'd left school that morning. Beth kept an eye on the little ones as she tried to engage Alec in conversation.

But Alec was too busy shooting glances at the kitchen, where Ellie was working. He was waiting for the right moment to help her with the tea and the plates. When she switched off the kettle, Alec got up and stepped into the kitchen. Without a word, he took out some mugs from the cupboard and placed them on the counter next to Ellie for her to fill them with hot water.

"So you bake?", Ellie commented as she put the tea bags inside each mug.

"Daisy asked me to", he shrugged, which made Ellie nod. She knew he could never say no to his daughter.

"Is this the traditional black bun?"

"Aye. Hope it tastes good. I'm quite rusty", Alec joked, but it was clear to Ellie that he was a bit nervous about the result.

Once the tea was ready, Alec and Ellie handed a mug and a plate to each one of the older ones, and then they took a seat next to each other.

It turned out the cake was delicious. Every first bite elicited a moan from those present in the back garden. Even little Fred, who didn't exactly like cakes, asked his mum to give him a piece of it too, and he loved it. Everyone praised the Hardys' cooking abilities, which made father and daughter blush with embarrassment. Then Chloe gave Tom the videogame and the get-well-soon card they had brought him, and the conversations went on.

After a while, when they sensed the time to leave was near, the little ones started to get tired of their games and searched for adult comfort. Lizzie went to Beth, who let her sit on the grass between her legs. As for Fred, he didn't seek his mum's arms... but Alec's, to everyone's surprise. The little boy ran to Hardy and stopped right in front of him, placing his tiny hands on the man's knees. He stood there for a few seconds staring at Alec with those big brown eyes of his, as if the detective were one of the Wonders of the World. And when Fred outstretched his arms for Alec to pick him up, Hardy did it hesitantly and sat him on his knees, which earned him some delighted glances from everyone around them. Immediately, Fred snuggled against him, his ear pressed against the man's chest.

“Aw, my sweet boy”, Ellie tickled her son playfully, her eyes full of something deep and tender. “You're comfortable in Uncle Alec's lap?”

Fred nodded and burrowed deeper into Alec's chest. Although the man wasn't at ease with emotions as a norm, he felt truly overwhelmed and thankful for the kid's affection. He leaned back and enveloped wee Fred in his arms for the boy to be more comfortable.

Then he felt a new light weight on his thigh and looked down discreetly. Ellie's hand had slid down from Fred's leg to his, and she kept it there for a while as she chatted with Beth. Alec was very aware of her warm fingers against his body, but he didn't move. He wasn't sure if Ellie was doing it on purpose or inadvertently.

His attention was drawn back to Fred when the little boy on his lap started pulling at his shirt insistently. Alec leaned down until his ear was next to Fred's mouth.

“Can I show Daisy my toys?”, the kid whispered in his ear.

Alec realised th en that Fred was looking at his daughter with true adoration, as if he had some kind of crush on her. Hardy smiled.

“Why don't you ask her?”, Alec suggested, but Fred shook his head shyly and hid his face in the man's chest. “Don't be shy, wee Fred. My instinct tells me she's going to say yes.”

The kid raised his face to look at him and nodded almost imperceptibly.

“Daze”, Alec called his daughter, who was laughing at something Chloe was showing her and Tom on her phone. When the girl turned her head, her dad pointed discreetly to Fred, who was wringing his little hands.

“W-Wanna... wanna see my toys?”, the boy asked without looking at her. 

Ellie, whose hand had already left Alec's thigh, bit her lower lip, overcome by the cuteness of it all. Alec shot a glance in her direction and almost smiled at her expression.

“‘Course, Fred”, Daisy said cheerfully and held out her hand for the kid to take it. Fred didn’t hesitate this time and, after grabbing Daisy’s fingers, he jumped from Alec’s lap to the ground, then ran into the house and upstairs with the teenager in tow. A few seconds later, they were waving at their families and friends from Fred’s window on the second floor.

Soon after that, Beth noticed that Lizzie was drifting off against her legs, so she decided it was time to go. She picked her little daughter up from the grass and the Latimer girls started saying their goodbyes. Ellie invited them to stay for dinner, but Beth assured her that they had leftovers from the previous day that needed to be taken care of. With hugs, handshakes, hair ruffles and incessant chatting, they headed for the front door, led by Ellie. Alec followed them and paused at the bottom of the stairs to call his daughter’s name.

“Daisy, it’s time to go.”

The teenager appeared up there with Fred in her arms and went downstairs to say bye to Chloe.

“Oh, c’mon, Hardy. Why don’t you two stay for dinner?”, Ellie suggested with a pleading smile when the Latimers finally left her driveway.

“Nah, sorry, Millah, but we... took advantage of our time in the kitchen to make some dinner too”, Alec made out on the fly.

“No, we didn’t”, Daisy corrected him.

“Daze...”, Alec warned her in a whisper, dropping his eyes to the floor.

“What my dad means is that we’re delighted to stay, if it’s not a problem for you”, the girl stated, which made Fred bounce in her arms with pure elation.

“‘Course not! We’ll order pizza or any other kind of takeaway you like. Don’t worry, Hardy, I’ll make you a salad too”, Ellie winked at Alec, which made his bloody heart skip a beat. He feigned annoyance and let out a sigh to make his point.

It was starting to get dark outside so, with Ellie’s help, Tom got into the house and went to sit with his grandad in the sitting room. Apparently, there was a Euro match that evening, and even though England wasn’t one of the teams involved, Tom was interested in watching it. Daisy enjoyed football too, so she joined Tom on the couch, with little Fred snuggled against her side. Ellie ordered some pizzas for all of them and, while they waited for the delivery, she and Alec went back to the kitchen to make the salad.

“You don’t have to-”, he started to say a bit annoyed, but Ellie didn’t let him finish.

“I know, but I want to”, she said exactly the same words Daisy had told her before, regarding the cake.

“Okay, then move aside and let me help, for God’s sake.”

With quick movements, Alec unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and rolled the sleeves up. Then he grabbed the tomatoes Ellie had just taken out of the fridge and began washing them thoroughly.

They worked in silence, but very aware of each other’s presence. Sometimes, they brushed hands when handing out a knife, or bumped into each other whenever one of them turned round without checking first. Ellie sensed that some kind of tension had been growing between them as time passed. When the salad was finished at last and Alec was about to dress it, Ellie glanced at him and noticed for the first time how handsome he looked in that white shirt with rolled-up sleeves. His concentrated face, his auburn hair falling over his forehead wildly. Ellie’s heart started to beat very quickly all of a sudden and she couldn’t explain exactly why. The sensation caught her completely unawares.

Then Alec raised his eyes from the salad to ask her where she kept the oil, but he must have seen something odd on her face, because he stayed silent and just stared at her intently, as if he were trying to find out the reason behind her sudden awkwardness.

At that very moment, the doorbell rang and startled Ellie out of her strange realisation.

“I’d better… I’ll go to… Just…”, she stuttered and then left the kitchen, grabbing her purse on her way to the front door.

With her mind turned into a rollercoaster, Ellie grabbed the boxes and paid the bloke who had delivered them. Daisy immediately got up and went to help her. Together they placed the boxes on the coffee table and split up the pizzas. The delicious smell soon filled the air and Tom, even though he could barely move or eat comfortably right now, pounced on the slices his mum was handing out to him.

Alec appeared on the door with some napkins in one hand and the bowl with his salad in the other, which earned him some good-natured laughs from the teenagers. Tom winced in pain suddenly and stopped laughing, concentrating on his BBQ pizza instead.

Ellie, with a slice of carbonara in her hand, went to sit down on a chair next to Alec, who was already enjoying his salad. She needed to cool down around him. It was just Hardy, for fuck's sake. Her grumpy boss and partner. They bickered, they solved crimes, they had each other's backs, but that was all, right? Ellie thought that, if a few innocent touches from Hardy were making her overthink, she must be truly desperate for affection.

She sensed Alec's eyes on the side of her face, studying her. Trying to disguise her thoughts in coolness, Ellie stretched out her hand and stole a black olive from his salad.

"Oi, be careful, Millah. I'm very protective of my olives", he chided her, which made their children laugh again.

And that was how the Millers and the Hardys had dinner together in Ellie's sitting room in front of the telly, while Italy beat Belgium. Ellie's dad sometimes sent curious glances at Alec, but if he found the familiarity between the two families odd, he said nothing, at least not in front of him or Daisy. The truth was that this was the first time they were doing something together, and it had been totally unplanned, even if it seemed to be going quite well.

When Fred started to drift off against Daisy halfway through a slice of his four cheese pizza, Ellie put her food aside and picked him up.

"Time for bed, little one."

"Alec", the kid mumbled almost incoherently.

"What?", Ellie asked him and Fred lifted his head a bit from her shoulder.

"I want Alec."

Ellie looked down at Hardy, whose eyes were wide open. He left his bowl on the coffee table and got up slowly, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard. Fred outstretched his little arms to him, his eyes barely open.

"Is it okay?", Alec inquired, a note of insecurity in his voice.

Ellie nodded, quite taken aback herself, and Alec took Fred from Ellie's arms. She guided them upstairs, even though she knew Hardy had already been there three years ago, when the police had sealed her home following Joe's arrest. Alec helped Fred brush his little teeth and into his pyjamas with expertise, while Ellie watched them closely, just in case Fred changed his mind and threw a tantrum. But he behaved very well and did everything Alec asked of him, and Ellie didn't know how she managed to keep breathing throughout the whole process.

Finally, Hardy put the kid to bed and sat on the mattress next to him, who was already more asleep than awake.

"Alec, you love me?", Fred asked a bit groggy, startling both Hardy and Ellie, who watched the exchange from the door.

"'Course, wee Fred."

"But you left.”

It surprised Alec that the little boy could remember him from two years ago. They'd spent quite some time together back when he and Ellie had been trying to solve Sandbrook. The kid had practically lived in his rented blue house because Ellie had nobody to take care of him while she worked on the case full-time. Alec had even pushed Fred's prank sometimes, and the kid had also slept in Alec's bed once or twice. But it was impossible that the little boy could remember all that.

"I had to fix some things with my family."

"With Daisy?"

Alec nodded with a lump in his throat.

"You gonna stay now?", Fred struggled to keep his eyes open.

"Aye", Alec promised. He didn't know if that had been exactly true, but now it was.

"Kiss me goodnight?", Fred asked closing his eyes.

Slowly, Alec leaned forward and pressed his lips against the soft skin of the kid's forehead. He feared his beard might bother Fred, but it didn't. The little boy squeezed the man's neck with his last bit of consciousness and then he started snoring softly.

Alec heard a sob behind him. He turned his head towards the door and saw Ellie there, trying to muffle her sobs behind her hand.

"I hate crying, but it's all I can do lately, apparently", she said between hiccups.

Trying not to make any noise that could wake Fred, Alec stood up from the mattress and approached Ellie slowly.

"I understand", he whispered. "That was… so unexpected. And heartbreaking. Sorry."

She shook her head, tears still running down her cheeks.

"It was sweet, too. I think he feels quite… abandoned sometimes, my poor little thing."

"C'mon, don't say that", Alec reached out unconsciously and touched her elbow. Then he lowered his tone even more to ask. "Y-You think he truly remembers me?"

"I don't know. He might. Or he might be just confusing you with… with Joe. Oh, my poor, poor Fred", Ellie brought her hands to her hair in sorrow and her sobs became louder.

Alec hurried to close the door to Fred's room for the teenagers not to hear her, and hoped the little boy was already enough dead to the world. Then he stood in front of Ellie again and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Strange as it might sound even inside her head, it was exactly what she needed, the safety of Alec's slender but strong arms. Without hesitation, she threw her arms around his waist and hid her face in his chest, her tears now falling freely while she mumbled incoherently about injustice. Sofly and hesitantly, Alec started running one hand up and down her back to soothe her, while he held Ellie against his body with the other, keeping her safe.

Soon his hand ventured into more intimate territory and started to play with her curls, but Alec was so intoxicated by Ellie's proximity, so lost in her that he couldn't restrain himself, nor even think straight. He stroked her neck, ran his fingers through her hair and even pressed a light kiss against her temple. It was a mere brush of his lips on her skin, but he knew he had already lost control. What was this woman doing to him?

Eventually, Ellie calmed down thanks to Alec's comforting warmth. Long after the last sobs had subsided, they were still holding each other. It was as if they were afraid of letting go. Would the illusion shatter when they did? Alec didn't even dare to breathe just in case it made Ellie want to pull apart. And at the same time, it scared him to keep hugging her.

"I never ask you about your heart anymore. Everything alright?", Ellie whispered all of a sudden, and Alec felt the warmth of her breath through his shirt.

"Aye. Why?"

"Because it's beating incredibly fast now", she pointed out in awe, her ear pressed against a spot a few inches above his heart.

Alec cursed inwardly and tried to relax. "I'm fine."

"Are you?", then Ellie raised her eyes to look at him from below. There wasn't concern in them exactly, but she was serious.

Alec held her gaze with such intensity that he thought he might set her on fire. He suddenly realised how close their faces were, their breaths mingling every time they exhaled. It would have been so easy to lean in… So easy...

"Mum? Where are you? Need my pills", Tom called from the sitting room, his voice unrecognisable and nasal.

Ellie startled a bit and sighed, but didn't let go of Alec's waist yet.

"I guess the match's over", she commented dropping her forehead onto Alec's shoulder, but the spell had already broken.

He held her there for another heartbeat, until there was no way of justifying their absence anymore, and then they broke apart.

"Thank you, Alec. Really", she smiled softly, her still puffy eyes staring at her feet.

"No need", he shrugged off uncomfortably and then opened the door for Ellie to step outside the room and into the hallway.

She went downstairs and into the kitchen to look for Tom's medicine, while Alec headed for the sitting room without another word to help Daisy tidy up.

Ellie's heart kept beating stubbornly fast as she inspected the blister pack, threatening to break free from her chest at any moment. It had been so long since the last time she'd felt that fluttering sensation in the pit of her stomach. What the hell was happening to her? Did she really feel attracted to Alec Hardy? Even if all the evidence pointed in that direction, she still found it hard to believe. He was grouchy, tactless, socially awkward, and yet his presence made her feel alive, safe and... even happy. She hoped all those emotions hadn't been too obvious in her eyes without her being aware of it. They could very well scare Alec away, now that he had started to treat her with more familiarity. Perhaps that was the key, perhaps she had started to truly care for him when Alec had started to show his more humane and soft side to her.

Oh God, it was so inconvenient that Ellie almost burst out laughing.

Then Daisy and Alec himself entered the kitchen carrying glasses, pizza boxes and dirty napkins. Ellie pulled herself together and smiled at them as if nothing happened, trying to behave like she normally would, cheerful and uninhibited.

She brought the medicines to Tom and instructed him to go to bed. Alec offered to help him upstairs, but Tom waved him off stoically, assuring him that he could manage on his own. The teenager thanked the Hardys for their visit awkwardly and started to climb the stairs carefully. Alec then approached Ellie's dad and held out his hand to him. The old man shook it politely and said his goodbyes to both him and Daisy. Then he excused himself and went to sleep, sending his daughter a meaningful look over his shoulder as he walked past her.

“It was a nice evening, Ellie. Thanks”, Daisy said wringing her hands, as if she wanted to hug her but didn't dare to.

“Oh, c'mere, darling”, Ellie pulled the girl closer and hugged her briefly. Daisy's cheeks were pink when she stepped back, but she was smiling.

“Next time, you should come to ours”, Daisy commented casually.

“That would be lovely. Right, Hardy?”, Ellie shot him a cheeky glance while she opened the front door, and almost laughed when she saw him stiffen.

“Hmm, 'course”, Alec agreed swallowing.

“See you soon, then", Daisy smiled again and waved at her before turning round to leave the house.

Alec didn't move yet, though, and stood there on Ellie's doorstep.

"Thanks for dinner", he said with his hands in his pockets. "And tell Tom again that I appreciate so much what he did for Daisy."

"I will", Ellie nodded solemnly. Then her eyes softened. "It was nice of you to come. You should really do it more often."

"We'll see."

"In this house we all think Alec's cooler than DI Hardy, by the way", she teased him, her toothy smile back on her face.

"DI Hardy's not going to take that statement well, Millah. I won't tell him this time, though, or you'll have to do all your paperwork on your own from now on", Alec looked at her with that face of feigned annoyance that suited him so well.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me", he challenged her, and it was only when he was back at home that he realised how ambiguous the offer might have sounded.

"Get out of here, you knob", Ellie pushed him out playfully.

"See you, Millah", Alec smirked as he started to walk away from the door.

Ellie smiled too, shaking her head at his contradictory behaviour, and waved at Daisy in the distance one last time before shutting the front door of number 6. The girl was waiting for her dad on the road outside Ellie's front garden, her hands in her pockets too. It was a Hardy thing, apparently.

They headed for their house in silence, side by side, listening to the steady tapping of their footsteps on the pavement. The night wasn't exactly warm, even though it was already mid-June, but it was nice enough to enjoy the temperature.

"Did you enjoy the evening, Dad?", Daisy asked casually.

"Don't ye think I dunnae what yer doing, lass", Alec chided her, his Scottish accent showing, but his heart wasn't in it. Both knew he couldn't be mad at his daughter even if he tried.

"Is it working?"

Alec looked at her frowning. The bold teenager didn't even have the decency to deny it!

"I like that you look happier around her", Daisy commented thoughtfully. Then her expression became gloomy. "I guess it must have been the same with Mum at the beginning, right?"

"I don't wanna talk about that now, darling", Alec explained with a sigh.

Daisy lowered her eyes to the ground and fell silent. Then she felt her dad's arm come around her shoulders and she leaned her head on it.

Alec guessed there would be time to talk about certain things in detail. But now it was too late and he was too tired and agitated to add more fuel to the fire.

He kissed the top of his cheeky daughter's head as they kept walking forward together. Always together, he hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There truly was a Euro match on June, 13th, 2016. I checked. ^^ 
> 
> I know nothing about nasal fractures, though, so I hope everything sounded real enough on that front. I also searched the recipe for the black bun and it looks great. I may bake it some day while we're still isolated...
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know your thoughts, please. And stay safe, you all.
> 
> Thank you! <3


	5. Bloody pot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you for all your comments in the previous chapter! I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic. :)
> 
> Let's go with chapter 5.

The next morning, when her alarm clock rang, Ellie was exhausted. Tom hadn't slept well, because he was in pain and could barely breathe. She had tried to help him rest putting some more cushions behind his back, giving him more pills and even rubbing his arm throughout the night to calm him down. But it hadn't been until half past four that Tom had finally fallen asleep.

Ellie sighed at the perspective of getting up and going to work. She was seriously contemplating the idea of calling in sick when her phone buzzed with an incoming call.

Of course, it was Alec. He'd been talking to their boss, CS Elaine Jenkinson, about yesterday's incident, and both had decided that Ellie should take the week off to take care of Tom. After all, they didn't have any cases in store yet. When Ellie started to complain about all the paperwork she still had to fill out and sign, Alec promised her that he would bring her the documents at some point during the week. Ellie wasn't at ease with staying at home for so long, and almost cursed Hardy for being so attentive, but she didn't say anything. She knew her son needed her now, and in spite of feeling guilty for leaving Alec alone to deal with all the paperwork, Ellie accepted the leave.

When he finished the call, Alec sighed. It had been easier than expected. He suspected Ellie's night must have been difficult if she had barely put up a fight.

Next day by lunchtime, there was a void in Alec's guts that he didn't know how to fill, and it had nothing to do with hunger. The police station wasn't the same without Ellie around. Everything was quieter, duller and darker. He felt no thrill whenever someone knocked on his office's door. There was nobody to share a cuppa with, nobody who could steal a slice of bread from his plate.

And there he was, being soppy again. Not that he was going to tell her, of course. But deep inside, much as it cost Alec to admit it, it might be that he kind of missed Ellie a bit. A lot.

So before leaving work on Wednesday, he grabbed the folder with all the papers Ellie had to sign, and sent her a brief text to warn her he was coming.

Of course, she didn't read the message, because when she opened the front door to him, her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Hardy!", she exclaimed in a hushed voice.

"Millah", Alec greeted her. Then he noticed Ellie's tired expression. "You alright? You look terrible."

"Wow, thank you", Ellie mocked him. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear after being stuck at home for two days with a whinging teenager, an untiring four year-old and a grumpy codger."

"Sorry, I meant-"

"I know, come in", Ellie stepped back to let him in and showed him to the sitting room. Then she closed the door of the room behind her back.

"How's Tom?", Alec asked as he placed the folder on her coffee table and took a seat on her couch.

"He's doing better today. But sleep keeps evading him at night. He can't breathe well. Besides, I think he gets nervous because of the pain. He just fell asleep now, so my dad took Fred out for a couple of hours to let him rest", Ellie explained sitting beside Alec. She sighed. "Don't tell Daisy, I don't want her to feel guilty."

"Is there anything we can do?", Alec offered.

"No, you already did enough. You got me some days off and just brought the documents."

Alec pursed his lips. He didn't know how to help Ellie. It even felt strange to reach out for her in plain daylight, in her sitting room, when her dad and Fred could return at any moment.

"Perhaps you should do something to keep yourself entertained?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about doing some gardening. God knows that garden needs some attention. But all the tools are kept away somewhere in the shed. I never set foot in there again after…", she trailed off.

 _After Joe_ _was arrested_ , Alec finished in his mind. He'd told Ellie about the place where he'd found Joe all those years ago. A long time had passed, and Ellie had been able to reconquer the whole house for herself and her children, even the bedroom where she and Joe had shared so many nights of passion, plans, confidences and secrets. But some of Ellie's wounds were still open.

"Anyway", she shook her head with feigned nonchalance. "Let's sign the bloody documents. I'm sure you've missed my grumbles these days."

She giggled at the thought, and Alec rolled his eyes. Not only her grumbles. He studied her concentrated face as she read and signed the papers, commenting some bits here and there.

What a fascinating, tough, brave woman Ellie Miller was. It was no wonder everyone enjoyed her company and sought it. That was why it was so difficult for Alec to understand why she kept trying to engage him in her plans and Broadchurch celebrations. Who would really want to have him around, with his sour personality, sharp answers and guarded demeanour? They were as different as night and day.

When she was done signing the reports, Ellie put the papers inside the folder again and handed it back to Alec.

"Okay, this is it", Ellie said, quite satisfied.

"Good. I'll drop them off at the station on my way home", Alec told her.

Ellie's face fell a bit.

"Oh, you're already leaving?"

Alec stared at her for a couple of seconds with indecision in his eyes. ' _Go home, you stupid sod_ ' , he told himself. But then he placed the folder back on the table slowly.

"Actually, I was... thinking I could... help you look for those gardening tools in the shed", he finally said, folding his hands in his lap. Alec knew every little offer he made her brought him a step closer to not being able to rebuild his walls up anymore, but he couldn't help it.

Ellie's lips parted slightly and then she swallowed, as if she weren't sure whether she was ready for it or not.

"If you want", Alec hurried to add.

"Yeah, yeah. It's something I should have done long ago", Ellie admitted and soldiered on.

They stood up and walked together down the hallway to the kitchen. Ellie opened the door to the back garden and both went out. When they reached the shed, she was trembling. They stood there for a while, frozen. Alec could almost hear Ellie’s heartbeats. He shot her a glance and still waited a few more seconds before stepping in first. The shed was a mess, full of utensils, toys and pieces of furniture everywhere. He guessed the only person who ever came here now was Tom, and he wasn’t going to tidy up.

Alec studied the place calmly with his hands on his hips, trying to convey confidence to make her feel safe. He then held out his hand to Ellie as an invitation, and she didn’t hesitate anymore. She took his hand and stepped in too. Letting out a long sigh, Ellie relaxed suddenly. After three years, she had dared to try and regain another small parcel of her life at last. And, to be honest, it hadn’t been that hard. With Alec’s hand still firmly clasped in hers, Ellie almost laughed.

“You okay?”, Alec checked.

“Surprisingly, I am”, she nodded, looking around. There were traces of Joe everywhere, of course, but also Tom’s and Fred’s. This was without a doubt another victory for Ellie Miller.

Ellie took some steps forward and dragged Alec along until they were in front of a tall, wooden cabinet in a very poor condition, where Alec supposed the Millers had kept away the gardening tools. For him, it was sad to be a witness of this lost part of Ellie’s life that reminded him of his own loss so much. But if time had taught Alec something, it was that wounds ended up healing almost completely at some point. Both his and Ellie’s would be there too eventually.

Suddenly, Ellie let go of his hand and tried to open the cabinet doors, but it took her a few attempts to break the resistance. The cabinet was full of things: bags of soil, watering cans, pots, a trowel, some shears, gardening gloves… Everything a person would need to take care of a garden. Alec wondered why someone would buy so many things and then use none. Ellie’s garden had never been taken care of, not even when Joe was still living there.

“I didn’t know you owned a whole B&M store, Millah”, Alec teased her.

“Piss off”, Ellie said as she catalogued the stuff she had inside the cabinet with a quick glance. “I think there’s a hosepipe missing. It might be up there.”

She tried to reach the top shelf, but it was no use. She would have to use a stool if she wanted the hosepipe. But Alec was there for a purpose, so letting out an annoyed sigh -he had a grouchy reputation to maintain, after all-, he took off his jacket and tossed it to Ellie. Pushing her aside softly, Alec stretched up his left arm and felt the objects he couldn’t see. He finally touched something that could be the hosepipe, because it felt like a long, rubber tube. Alec pulled, but the hosepipe didn't move.

"Would you be interested in helping me with the garden?", Ellie asked wrinkling her nose innocently, as if she had just come up with the best idea ever.

"Do I look like the gardening type  to you?", Alec said as he kept struggling with the hosepipe.

"Don't be a twat. I was just wondering-", Ellie was about to start elaborating when Alec pulled back with all his strength to free the hosepipe. With a groan of pain, he shook his arm and dropped the hosepipe on the ground.

"Alec!"

Ellie immediately noticed there was blood on his hand and hurried to unbutton his shirt cuff while he tried to stop the bleeding. It didn't seem serious, but it surely was painful. With a quick glance, she tried to identify the object that had tore Alec's skin, just in case it was something metallic and he needed to get the tetanus vaccine. But it was just a broken plastic pot.

"Come inside. I'll take care of it", Ellie commanded grabbing Alec's forearm softly.

"It's just a scratch."

"It's definitely not", she insisted and, dragging him along, she led him to the kitchen. Once there, she made Alec put his hand under the tap and cleaned his wound carefully, hearing him complain non-stop. Then she dried his skin with a gauze and made Alec sit down on a chair with his injured arm stretched out on the table.

With all the care and kindness she put when she treated her own children's wounds, Ellie started to apply some antibiotic ointment on Alec's palm. She was gentle in her touch, and very careful not to hurt him more. Alec didn't remember the last time someone had shown him such degree of tenderness, and it made him fall for her even more against his will. He was such a hopeless knob.

When Ellie finished with the ointment, she pressed another gauze against the cut and bandaged it.

"It's a good thing it's your left hand", Ellie commented, covering his hand with hers.

"Aye. It'll be healed in a couple of days, anyway. It isn't deep", Alec agreed.

"Don't do anything stupid or it will open again", she warned him. "You tend to misbehave when I'm not around."

"I'll be a good lad", he promised rolling his eyes, but the corner of his mouth curled up slightly as he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

Ellie looked at him with scepticism, not believing a single word.

"Just take care of it, okay? Don't be stubborn", she chided him and let go of his hand, which suddenly felt bereft of warmth. "Stay here while I go get your blazer. I dropped it on a broken chair when you got hurt… I hope it's not too dirty."

When she disappeared outside, Alec sighed and hid his face in his uninjured hand. ' _Get a hold of_ _yourself_ ', he told himself. He was sure Ellie was still clueless about his feelings for her, but if he wasn't a bit more careful, she would start noticing something was wrong with him and everything would be shot to hell. Even if she had started to accept his hugs and to touch him as if she didn't mind his contact, Alec didn't want to trigger her rejection making a false move. He cherished her friendship, or whatever it was this thing they had, and he was determined to keep it that way at any cost, even though it meant he would stay in the friendzone forever.

He had a lot of insecurities, too. Opening up wasn't easy for him, and putting his heart in someone else's hands after what he'd been through felt wrong and irresponsible.

Three minutes later, Ellie returned to the kitchen trying to shake the dust out of Alec's navy jacket.

"I did my best, sorry", she apologised as she showed him some dirty spots on the back and one of the sleeves.

Alec stood up and took it from her, shaking his head.

"No, Millah, you owe me one”, he stated, his face serious.

“I just took care of your hand!”, Ellie exclaimed frowning and smiling at the same time, pretending to be affronted.

“Because your pot almost chopped it off.”

“C’mon, don’t be a drama queen, it’s just a scratch!”, Ellie slapped his arm playfully.

“It wasn’t fifteen minutes ago, according to you”, Alec tried to hide a smile.

“Wanker”, she bit her lower lip with a smirk, as if she wanted to really chop off his hand. She poked him in the ribs, which caught him off-guard and made him chuckle. "Oh, you're ticklish?"

"No…", Alec warned Ellie raising an admonitory finger, but it was no use.

She had him cornered, so she dared to poke him twice more, a vindictive expression on her face, while he kept repeating "No!", "No!" every time her finger made contact with his ribs. Then Alec threw his jacket on the table and grabbed her arms, holding them still behind her back.

"God, Millah, you're insufferable", he told her.

Their noses were just a few inches apart. Ellie could almost count Alec's freckles. Her big smile reached her eyes without reservations, and Alec's heart went crazy at the sight of her carefree expression, one he hadn't seen in years. Bit by bit, her face became more serious as she kept staring at him, her wrists still trapped in his hands, both the wounded and the good. Ellie's eyes roamed over Alec's face until they stopped unconsciously on his pursed lips.

Then he cleared his throat awkwardly and let go of Ellie's arms, wincing a bit. She turned her back to him to clean up the mess they'd made, but Alec could see her cheeks were a light shade of pink, probably matching his.

"Can you imagine the faces of everyone at the station if they found out you're ticklish?", Ellie commented casually as she put away the gauzes in a drawer.

"Don't you dare tell them", Alec warned her, folding his blazer.

"Why? Because it would tarnish your Shitface reputation?"

"Shut up."

"You wouldn't hear the end of it. It would be glorious."

"Aye, so funny", Alec grimaced.

Ellie shook her head and turned round to face him again with a teasing smile. Alec walked past her trying not to shoot her even the briefest of glances, his feigned annoyance showing again, and headed for the sitting room, where the folder was still waiting for him on the table. It was time to take the documents back to the station and go home to Daisy.

After picking up the folder, Alec approached Ellie, who was already at the front door, a hand on the handle. Even if she was still smiling, Alec thought he could see a shadow of sadness in her eyes.

"Thanks for bringing the papers. And sorry for the wound."

"It's nothing."

"Take care of it, okay?", Ellie opened the door to let Alec step outside.

"Hmm", Alec nodded, a bit reluctant to completely agree with her, but happy for the care she showed for him. "Say hi to Tom and Fred."

"They'll be sorry to have missed you, specially Fred. He can't stop talking about you", Ellie told him, which made Alec lower his eyes, embarrassed and deeply moved at the same time. "Well, you and the party at the beach on Friday. He's incredibly excited about it. Why don't you and Daisy come?"

"Is that-?", Alec started to ask, but Ellie cut in without even listening to what he was saying.

"Why do I bother? You're going to say no."

"Okay", he said all of a sudden, cursing himself inwardly for his impulsiveness.

"What?", Ellie stared at Alec as if he had just breathed fire.

"O-Okay. We'll go.”

"Really? Who are you and what did you do to my grumpy boss?"

"Oi, don't push your luck, Millah."

Ellie let out a mischievous laugh, while Alec revelled secretly in the sight of the sparkle that had come back to her eyes.

"See you on Friday, then", Ellie appointed.

All Alec did was turning round and raising his bandaged hand in the air as he walked down the driveway to his car.

With his heart hammering inside his chest, Alec realised this had to be one of the first times in their lives they had agreed to do something together out of work, even if it included their children, hordes of Broadchurch's inhabitants and Ellie's friends.

And it got him both thrilled and incredibly nervous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this time.
> 
> Thanks again for being there!


	6. Wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, thank you again for all your lovely reviews and comments. I'm truly overwhelmed by your generosity. :)
> 
> Chapter 6! Just one more left!

By Friday morning, Ellie desperately needed to get out. Tom's nose was starting to heal at last. It wasn't so swollen anymore, which allowed him to breathe and sleep better. And to be more cheeky and mouthy too. Little Fred was delighted to have his mum around all the time he was at home, and he tried to attract her attention constantly, asking questions about Alec and Daisy or begging her to play with him. And then, there was her dad, who was as insufferable and demanding as ever.

So when David Barrett had announced on Thursday that he was going to leave for the weekend with a couple of friends, she rejoiced. Ellie loved her dad, but she craved for some space for herself too. She knew she would have to talk to him at some point about it, but even the mere thought made her feel guilty.

When Ellie picked up Fred from the childminder, the little boy was so excited that she struggled to fasten his seatbelt when she sat him on his car seat. He spent the whole afternoon driving Ellie and Tom crazy with his agitated chatter. So when they finally had their beach bag ready and headed for the beach together in the evening, Ellie felt she was breathing for the first time in ages.

The beach was humming with life that Friday. Every living soul had gathered at the feet of Broadchurch's amazing cliffs to enjoy Midsummer's night. The town council had really pushed the boat out for the celebrations this year. There were food vendors, handicrafts, games of chance and skill... Even a funfair had been set up on the pier and hordes of kids were already running around, full of energy. Fred started to pull Tom's hand when he saw the bumper cars, but Ellie dragged him away from the attraction. She had agreed to meet the Latimers before starting the fun.

Beth soon spotted them among the crowd and waved at them. Curiously, Mark was there too, with Nige in tow as always. Ellie was sure Beth had agreed to go to the party with him for the girls' benefit, even if things weren't exactly at their best between them right now. The Latimers greeted the Millers amiably and everyone asked after Tom's injuries. The teenager wasn't exactly comfortable with the attention, Ellie noticed, but he answered all their questions putting on a brave face.

Then Fred let out a delighted squeal and ran towards a blonde girl who was approaching them from town. Daisy smiled at the little boy and squatted down with her arms stretched out for Fred to jump straight into them. He hugged Daisy's neck and only let go of her when he spotted the man who had just stopped right behind the girl. Giggling happily, Fred raised his little arms in the air to be picked up from the ground.

When Ellie realised the man in question was none other than Alec Hardy, her mouth fell open. He was wearing some black jeans, casual shoes and a stylish, cowl-neck, grey sweater that hugged his chest and arms exactly in the right places. Ellie's heart did something weird that left her speechless, and she had barely recovered from the shock when Daisy reached her, Alec in tow with little Fred in his arms.

"Wow, Hardy, where's your suit?", Ellie asked teasingly, pretending to be calmer than she really felt.

Alec shot her a warning look and then glanced at Daisy out of the corner of his eye.

"I took him shopping yesterday", Daisy answered, which earned her a big smile from Ellie, who also threw her arm around the girl’s waist affectionately.

"Well done, you", Ellie congratulated Daisy. Then she fixed her eyes on Alec again. "You look… nice.”

“Doesn’t he?”, Daisy’s grin was so mischievous that Alec felt the urgent need to disappear.

“Enough”, he said quite annoyed.

“How’s your hand?”, Ellie asked, putting on a more serious face.

“Fine. The cut’s almost closed. I kept the bandage on just to avoid the contact with the sand”, Alec explained putting Fred down.

“Very sensible.”

But as soon as the kid’s feet touched the ground, he grabbed Alec’s hand and started pulling towards the funfair. The Latimers laughed and greeted the Hardys, making fun of Alec’s casual clothes good-naturedly, but without overstepping the limits. It was difficult to forget that both Nige and Mark had been arrested and harshly questioned by Alec regarding Danny’s murder all those years ago. They would never be friends, of course, but at least, all could agree on a truce in this kind of situations, if only for Ellie’s benefit.

All of them headed together for the funfair first, to Lizzie and Fred’s immense delight. Chloe and Daisy took the little kids to the bumper cars, while Tom watched from afar with a resigned expression. In his state, Ellie had talked him out of the rides. She would allow him to go celebrate with his friends later, though, when they'll get the bonfires going, if he promised to be careful.

Even though Alec didn’t feel as uncomfortable as he did in the past, he still wasn’t at ease surrounded by people, so he stayed by Ellie’s side the whole time. He tried to take part in the conversations with the Latimers and even laughed sometimes. They were greeted by acquaintances here and there (Trish Winterman and her daughter, for example, or even Dirty Brian and his new girlfriend), but Ellie kind of knew he was there just for Daisy and for her. The idea made her feel a bit lightheaded. Besides, those new clothes he was wearing were doing things to her and didn't let her think straight. To make matters even worse for Ellie, at some point during the evening, Alec summoned all the kids and teenagers and brought them to the ice-cream van to buy 99’s for everyone. She thought her heart would melt.

“I think you’re a good influence on your boss, Ellie”, Beth commented in a voice loud enough for Alec to hear when Chloe handed her one of the ice-creams.

“Don’t give her all the credit”, Alec replied seriously, but he was clearly joking.

“You can deny it all you want, Hardy, but it’s me who makes you more likeable”, Ellie bumped his forearm with her shoulder playfully and he shook his head.

True: he couldn’t deny it. But he’d be dead before admitting it out loud, specially in front of so many people.

Once the kids had gone on all the attractions in the funfair twice and everyone -including the adults- was wearing the traditional, commemorative, rubber bracelet, they went to the beach at last, where the bonfires were being built. They found a spot on the beach near one of them -but at a fair distance, of course- and laid down their picnic blankets and beach towels on the sand. The Hardys, neophytes as they were, had brought none, so Ellie shared hers with them. She also produced some sand toys from her bag to keep Fred and Lizzie entertained as the adults and teenagers spent the next few minutes writing their wishes on coloured pieces of paper. Those papers would be thrown into the fire at some point later in the evening as a part of the celebrations and traditions.

“Careful what you wish for, Hardy”, Ellie told him as she scribbled on her piece of paper. “It may become true.”

Alec caught his daughter’s amused gaze and scowled at her.

“I’m not writing anything”, he stated, searching for a free-of-sand spot on the blanket to sit down on, in his bloody jeans and bloody grey sweater.

“C’mon”, Ellie pleaded. “It will be fun.”

“You guys have fun and leave me alone.”

“Killjoy”, she muttered under her breath.

Then suddenly, a pen landed on his lap with a piece of paper attached to it. Daisy was looking daggers at him, not amused. When Alec threw his hands in the air in surrender and uncapped the pen, Ellie chuckled and stroked Daisy’s knee.

Some parallel activities started to take place around them. One of the official stands put on some background music as a group of youngsters organised a football match not far from their spot on the beach. Others took a set of playing cards out and started a competition while some girls began juggling…

Soon the older Latimers and Nige joined the football match and Ellie promised them to mind Lizzie. Tom went with them too, even though he knew he couldn’t take part in the match this time. Daisy hesitated for a few seconds when Chloe invited her to join their team, but then she decided to stay with Ellie, her dad and the little kids.

Suddenly, Fred appeared at Alec’s side and hugged his neck.

“Come to the water?”, the kid suggested, his eyes shining bright with hope.

Alec wasn’t sure of it at all. He still had nightmares involving water sometimes and the idea of going near the sea didn’t appeal to him. But Fred was staring at him with those big, dark eyes of his… and his fears and resolve died down completely. Letting out a sigh, he checked with Ellie first, who nodded at him smiling sweetly. Then, as Ellie tried to calm Fred and Lizzie down to unlace their trainers, Hardy took off his shoes and socks, grimacing when his feet touched the sand. Daisy grinned at him encouragingly and Alec stood up reluctantly, taking one children’s hand in each of his. Ellie saw him wince when Fred squeezed his injured one too hard, but Alec said nothing and ran to the water with them. Ellie and Daisy leaned back comfortably as they watched how Alec rolled up the children's sweatpants for them not to get soaked.

“He’s a such a cutie sometimes, your dad”, Ellie commented in a confidential tone.

Daisy nodded and chuckled. “I don’t know when it was the last time I saw him so at ease. I would dare to say even happy.”

“Me too. He’s delighted to have you here.”

“I know, but it’s not just that”, Daisy spoke without looking at Ellie, but at the three figures that splashed in the water several feet away from them and out of earshot. “It’s also this place.”

“Yeah, maybe… But did you know he never misses the chance to remind me how much he hates Broadchurch?”, Ellie giggled.

“He’s a liar. He begged me to give this town a second chance. I know it means something very special to him”, the girl shared thoughtfully, and Ellie stared at her with the emotions raw in her eyes.

“And how’re you doing? Is everything… better for you?”, Ellie asked tentatively after a pause.

“I suppose my dad told you about… the pictures.”

“Yeah… but he doesn’t tell me everything, you know? Not about you, at least. Just the things that worry him the most”, Ellie hurried to explain. She didn’t want Daisy to think her dad had betrayed her trust.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind that you know. I…”, the teenager trailed off. “I’m kind of glad you do, actually. I might… need some female… hmm, you know…”

“Daisy, you can talk to me whenever you want”, Ellie offered and took the girl’s hand in hers. “I never dared to bring up the matter because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or embarrass you, but if you need my help, some advice or even a shoulder to cry on, you can count on me. I realise we never really talked before, and I also know you trust your dad, who loves you dearly, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you, too.”

The girl squeezed back Ellie’s hand and swallowed the lump in her throat. Yes, she definitely liked Ellie Miller. Daisy raised her teary eyes to the woman and smiled gratefully. She sniffed and rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, while Ellie pulled her into her arms for a comforting hug.

“I intended to speak to you at some point during our girls night tomorrow”, Daisy confessed and Ellie felt so sorry for her. She was alone with her dad, the new girl in town with barely no friends, she also had an estranged relationship with her mum and those infamous pictures were still giving her a hard time. It was no wonder the poor girl was feeling blue.

Then Ellie suddenly gasped, with Daisy still in her arms.

“Girls night is tomorrow?”, she asked confused, letting go of the girl. She and Beth had been having girls nights once in a while for some years now. Chloe had started joining them since her twelfth birthday. And when, last Sunday after the religious service, they had agreed on the next date, Chloe had suggested they invited Daisy too. “Oh, no, I totally forgot! I’m so sorry. My father won’t be at home tomorrow. He uses to go fishing with some old friends twice a year, and they picked this weekend, so I have nobody to mind Fred and Tom. Not that Tom needs minding anymore, but with the broken nose and all… I don’t feel comfortable leaving them alone the whole night. I’m so sorry.”

At that moment, they saw Alec come back to them with the two kids attached to his hands, bouncing and giggling happily with their feet wet. Ellie was sure Hardy had seen her hugging Daisy from afar and was about to check on them.

“Everything alright?”, he asked studying his daughter’s face.

“Yeah, fine. We were just having a girl talk. Right, sweetheart?”, Ellie stroked Daisy’s cheek briefly and the teenager smiled at her, her eyes still a bit red.

Sensing something was off, Fred let go of Alec’s hand, he approached Daisy and hugged her neck tightly. Then Lizzie imitated him and they squeezed Daisy between their tiny bodies. The girl bit her lip quite moved and threw an arm around each kid. Soon she was laughing, with the two little demons straddling her belly and legs and trying to tickle her everywhere.

Alec sat down next to Ellie, still staring at his daughter with a worried expression.

“Hey, Dad”, Daisy called suddenly, managing to get rid of the kids for a few seconds and sitting up. “Are you free tomorrow night?”

Hardy looked at her quite baffled.

“It’s girls night tomorrow at Beth’s, remember?”, Daisy explained. “But Ellie’s dad is out of town for the weekend. Err… I was wondering… Would you mind babysitting Tom and Fred?”

“Oh, my God, Daisy, I don’t think-”, Ellie started to say, incredibly flustered. One thing was having Hardy there with them, socialising and trying to make friends, and another totally different thing was asking her boss to mind her children to go to a party. “Please, it’s not necessary, we’ll reschedule the date.”

“Yes, Alec!”, little Fred left Daisy’s side and jumped into the man’s lap.

“Oh, please, no”, Ellie seriously considered running away, but since it wasn’t a real possibility, she just hid her face in her hands.

“Well, I-I don’t mind. There are some reports I need to study”, Alec agreed. “If it’s okay with you, I mean. It’s your house.”

“That’s not the problem! I can’t ask you to mind my children, Hardy! Technically you're my boss!”, Ellie shouted.

“You didn’t ask. It was my cheeky daughter”, he glanced at Daisy, who was looking at him sheepishly. “There’s no problem, really. Plus you’ll never be able to blame me for missing your fascinating girls night, Millah.”

Daisy stretched out like a cat and kissed her dad’s cheek, which made Alec shake his head. Then the teenager took the kids' hands and dragged them along with her and back to the sea.

“I appreciate it, but you don’t have to do it, you know?”, Ellie told him when their children were gone.

“It’s just one night. If that’s going to make Daisy happier, I’ll gladly do it. What time?”, Alec assured her.

“Around eight? They’d have already had dinner by then.”

“Fine”, he nodded. Then he paused for a few seconds and asked. “Is she alright?”

“Yes. She just told me about the pictures. I think she needed some sort of female comfort. She’ll be fine, don’t worry. You were right: she’s stubborn and brave.”

Alec nodded and let out a sigh. “W-Would you mind keeping an eye on her? I know there are things she won’t want to talk to me about.”

Ellie reached between them for his bandaged hand and took it gently in hers, and nothing else needed to be said. Of course she would keep an eye on Daisy. And Alec knew he could totally trust Ellie with his daughter. He squeezed her fingers gratefully and they stayed like this for a while, stroking each other’s hands lazily without saying anything, their eyes fixed on the sea. None of them wanted to acknowledge the warmth that was cursing through their veins, or the butterflies in the pit of their stomachs, or the fact that they were properly holding hands.

It wasn’t long before the Latimers came back with Tom, all of them sweating and covered in sand. Ellie let go of Alec’s hand discreetly and smiled at them with her best toothy grin, as she always did, trying to mask the turmoil she had inside her chest.

The sun set slowly until the only source of light that came to the beach was the one from the faraway lampposts. As people shared drinks, chips, pizzas, sandwiches and candies, the bonfires started to be lit, casting funny shadows on everyone’s faces.

When it was time to throw the pieces of paper into the bonfires, the Millers, the Hardys and the Latimers took turns approaching the fire, while the rest stayed and kept an eye on their shared things. The Latimers went first with Nige, who never came back to their blankets after noticing that a young woman was making eyes at him.

Then the Millers and the Hardys got to their feet shaking the sand out of their clothes and walked together towards the fire. Ellie stood in front of the flames with her paper clutched in one hand and Fred’s tiny one in the other. Tom wasn’t far away either, his nose still covered with a dramatic dressing. Not that Ellie believed in this kind of things, but she liked the tradition of the Midsummer's bonfires on the beach. She asked for happiness, health and luck for her and all her loved ones. Before throwing her paper into the fire, she cast an involuntary glance towards Alec, and their eyes met for a heartbeat. Then he looked back to the flames and threw his paper into them too, an arm around Daisy’s shoulders. Ellie saw the girl tell him something and Alec just shrugged and kissed her temple. Then he nodded and dropped his arm.

They went back to their spot, where Chloe was already waiting for both Tom and Daisy to go join their friends for the rest of the evening. Beth and Ellie kept yelling a million advices at them, even when the teenagers couldn't hear them anymore. Alec, on his part, didn't say anything, but Ellie knew him well enough by now to realise he was as worried as she was.

"They'll be fine, right?", Ellie asked out loud to nobody in particular.

"I think so. They're responsible enough", Beth replied, trying to reassure herself as well as Ellie.

They sat down again and tried to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening, but it was quite difficult. Mark didn't speak much now that Nige, Tom and Chloe had left. He played with Lizzie on the sand and told her and Fred some tales. Beth had told Ellie a few days ago that Mark had sought Joe one more time, and that had been the last straw for Beth. Ellie hadn't wanted to hear any more on the matter and had begged her friend to keep it to herself. Now Mark looked exactly as miserable as he had the last two years, so his attempt at whatever he had tried to do hadn't brought him any peace at all.

Ellie and Beth tried to cheer things up a bit with their chatter, but Hardy wasn't the most talkative of men precisely, so he didn't contribute much, either. The kids were starting to get tired too, which meant they had stopped playing their active games. Lizzie was dozing off in her mum's lap and Fred had squeezed himself between Ellie and Alec and was playing with the loose threads of the man's hand bandage.

When the fireworks started, the two women fell silent and all six of them looked up into the sky. Lizzie brought her hands to her ears and started crying in fear with the first explosion. Fred wasn't fond of the noise either, but he put on a brave face and pretended he wasn't scared. Ellie knew better, though, because he had gone pale. She then started rubbing her son's back soothingly. Alec, on his part, instructed the kid to open his mouth at the same time he covered his ears to deaden the noise. In a calm voice, he kept talking to Fred for the kid to focus on something else.

In spite of having the fireworks bursting brightly up there in so many beautiful shapes and colours, Ellie realised she couldn't bring herself to look away from Alec and Fred. The sight before her was by far much more magical than the one up in the sky.

Trying not to draw attention to herself, Ellie sought Alec's hand behind Fred's back. She knew she was playing with fire, but there was something inside her that desperately needed to be in contact with him. When their fingers finally touched, she intertwined hers with his tentatively. Alec's eyes met Ellie's over Fred's head for a few seconds. Then he resumed the story he was telling her son as his thumb traced random patterns on the skin of her hand. Alec's touch was gentle and comforting, and Ellie wished she could stay in this moment for the rest of her life.

When the fireworks ended, everyone on the beach applauded and cheered. Even Fred sprang to his feet and clapped joyously, all fears forgotten. The Latimers stood up then, Mark carrying Lizzie in his arms, and announced that they were leaving. It was getting late and the little girl was too tired to enjoy the party anymore. Besides, Ellie knew Beth and Mark needed some time alone to talk and sort out the unpleasant divorce stuff. Both detectives got to their feet too to say their goodbyes, shake hands and kiss cheeks, and then the Latimers collected their things and were gone.

"Mark seems really torn apart", Alec commented while they watched the Latimers disappear behind the bonfire.

"Yeah, he never got over Danny's death. Beth told me he went... to see Joe last week and then he… tried to commit suicide", Ellie told Alec in a hushed voice for Fred not to hear her.

"What?"

Ellie nodded sadly. "I didn't ask for the details. I don't want to know. I'm so sorry for Mark, but I need to move on."

"And you will. Joe's shadow over your lives is getting shorter and shorter as time passes."

With a sigh, Ellie looked up to the sky, angry and frustrated. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply to fill her lungs with a fair amount of air. When Fred grabbed her hand all of a sudden, she opened them again to look down at her son.

"Momma! Dance with me!"

Ellie chuckled at his impetuous request, but then she realised the song they had just put on was 'Can't stop the feeling' and Fred absolutely loved it. She didn't feel like dancing at all, but she decided her mood wasn't going to spoil her son's fun, so she shot Alec a resigned glance and started dancing and singing along with Fred. Hardy watched them with his hands in his pockets, a smile threatening to show at his lips. Then Fred let go of Ellie and approached Alec with tired, but inviting eyes.

"Oh, sorry, Fred. I don't dance."

"But someone has to twirl Momma. I'm not tall enough. You're tall."

"I am, but I don't dance, lad", Alec tried to make Fred understand.

"Fred, sweetie, leave Alec alone. He's tired. C’mere", Ellie intervened.

"But it's not a dance if nobody twirls you, Mum", the kid insisted. He was exhausted after all the emotions of the day, and his frustration tolerance was decreasing by the hour. His eyes filled with tears, because suddenly, the most important thing in the world was that somebody made his mum twirl.

"Alright, mate, don't cry. Just this time, okay? I'm really bad at this", Alec agreed reluctantly and Fred clapped.

A dance felt too intimate for Alec at this point, in this situation. Anything could trigger a reaction he might regret later. He had kind of noticed that Ellie was not only welcoming his touches more and more but seeking them too. His knees went weak every time her skin made contact with his, but he still didn't know what it meant. Did she feel the same dizziness? The butterflies? Alec was ecstatic and scared at the same time. He needed to think his next steps carefully, and dancing with Ellie could just ruin everything.

He held out his hand to her slowly, and she took it biting her lip. "Sorry", she mouthed. Then Alec raised his arm and allowed her to pass under it twice. Alec caught the sweet smell of Ellie's shampoo when she spun and his whole body was set on fire. His heart pounded in his chest like mad and Alec feared his pacemaker would stop working suddenly. This was exactly what he had wanted to avoid, the fear, the insecurity. But he was slowly passing the point of no return and he didn’t know whether he would be able to recover this time if things with Ellie went bad.

Fred's cheerful clapping pulled him out of his thoughts. The kid grabbed his mum's and Alec's free hands to join their dance. Both detectives laughed and let him bounce between them as he sang loudly.

Ten minutes later, the kid was snoring on the picnic blanket, completely death to the world. Ellie tucked him in with a towel and then she sat down again.

"Thanks for being so patient. I'm afraid he's quite obsessed with you."

"He has me wrapped around his little finger", Alec admitted softly, his eyes and voice a bit evasive, though.

They stayed silent for some time, letting the sea breeze mess with their hair, until Ellie spoke again tentatively.

"One last dance before going home? What do you say?"

"Hhmm, Millah, I know-”.

"Okay, forget it, I was joking", she hurried to clarify.

“It's just that... Hmm, I know this song. It’s a Scottish Gaelic one and I’m not sure you can... exactly dance to it.”

“What? You can dance to every song”, she crossed her arms in front to her chest with the feeling that it wasn't exactly songs that they were arguing about.

“No, you can’t dance to this. Just... listen to this music. It’s too sad”, Alec tried to make his point perhaps a bit too emphatically, looking away from her.

Ellie dropped her gaze and Alec could tell she was a bit disappointed. It only lasted a second, though, because, in the blink of an eye, the mask was back on her face. And Alec hated that she had put it back on because of him. He would have liked to tell Ellie that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to dance with her. He would have wanted to be braver and more adventurous for her, now more than ever. But for some stupid reason, he couldn’t bring himself to take her hand and pull her closer on a beach full of people. It wasn’t like him. And Alec kind of hated himself for it.

“Well, I think we should go. I don’t want Fred to catch a cold, he would be even more insufferable than you”, Ellie tried to joke. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“I’ll walk you two home”, Alec offered, picking up a sleeping Fred from the blanket.

“Oh, not at all. We’ll be fine.”

“Don't be stubborn. You can’t carry both Fred and that enormous bag by yourself.”

“I can. The perks of being a single mum”, Ellie shrugged, as she shook and folded the towels they had been sitting on.

But she didn’t fight him further when Alec insisted once again on carrying Fred himself. They did the walk to her home in relative silence, both because they didn’t want to wake the little boy and because the mood had suddenly shifted. Alec relised that Ellie felt a bit uneasier than before when she nearly tripped at some point to avoid brushing his arm as she walked.

So, this was it. In the end, he had managed to ruin things between them.

Once on her doorstep, Ellie opened the front door quietly and dropped the beach bag inside her home. Then she turned to Alec and stretched out her arms for him to hand Fred to her. Alec did and their hands brushed briefly, which made Ellie take a step back as she hugged her son tightly against her chest.

"Well, thanks for the walk", Ellie said.

"Nothing."

Fred stirred a bit in his mum’s arms when he heard the adults’ voices and called for Alec sleepily.

“I’m here, lad. Night”, the man said rubbing Fred’s back gently, a sad note in his voice.

“Kiss”, the little boy pleaded, resting his head on Ellie’s shoulder.

Alec felt Ellie stiffen when he leaned forward, invading her personal space completely, and his cheek brushed hers as he kissed Fred’s temple. Then, in a desperate fit of madness, Alec turned his face and pressed his lips briefly against Ellie’s cheek too.

Time froze.

For a heartbeat, the only sound they could hear was each other’s shallow breathings. With his cheek still pressed against Ellie’s, Alec whispered in her ear “I’m sorry”, and his heart broke a bit.

_I’m sorry for not being the man you want, the man you need, the man you deserve_ , he wanted to tell her, but, once again, he couldn't.

When he leaned back at last, Alec’s sad eyes met Ellie's confused ones. They stared at each other intently for a while, as if they were trying to say things with their eyes they didn't dare to put into words.

"Bye, Ellie", Alec said finally, his tone tired and dejected, and he turned round to leave.

She didn't say anything to stop him, just stood there longer than she should have, clinging to Fred's little body.

Ellie couldn't understand what the real matter with Alec was. That evening, for a second, she had thought she'd glimpsed something definitive in his eyes, an understanding between them, while his fingers stroked hers behind her son's back. She knew she hadn't imagined the loving look Alec had shot her over Fred's crown. Thirty minutes later, he was rejecting her advances again, though, only to kiss her cheek at the end of the evening with a heartbreaking apology.

She was aware of Alec's uneasiness with these social, human things and she totally respected it, but lately his changing mood and emotions were driving her crazy, specially now that she was more and more sure of her own need for him. Ellie didn't want to fall head over heels for Alec -though she doubted there was a way back anymore- if there wasn’t even the slightest possibility to try something together.

She would have to speak to him and sort things out. Alec was too important a part of her life to just let him slip through her fingers like this. She only wished Alec didn’t run away from her again.

' _Alea iacta_ _est_ ', Ellie thought as she finally shut the door, because she wanted to believe she was brave and determined to hold the bull by the horns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of drama for you all. Poor Alec, with all his insecurities.
> 
> I kind of invented that Midsummer tradition for Broadchurch. I know there are places in the world where they celebrate with bonfires on the beach, but I've never been to one and I don't know what they exactly consist of. So there.
> 
> Thanks for reading, lovely people. :)


	7. There are songs you can't dance to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!
> 
> Again, thank you for your kindness and support.
> 
> Enjoy!

The doorbell rang at eight o'clock sharp. Ellie opened the door to Daisy's lovely face and Alec's sombre one. He was back in a dress shirt and trousers, so back to closed-off Hardy. Ellie let them in, kissing Daisy's cheek as she walked past her and welcoming Alec with a polite nod.

"Let me grab my bag, Daisy. I'll be back downstairs in two minutes", Ellie informed. "Hardy, make yourself at home."

Tom poked his head round the sitting room door, where he was watching some telly, to say hi, and when little Fred heard their names, he ran downstairs to hug them, making his mum almost trip on him.

Two minutes later, Ellie was ready and giving Alec -who was already carrying Fred in his arms- some instructions quickly, barely looking at him.

"The boys already had dinner. I left some salad for you in the kitchen, just in case you didn't eat anything at home. There's a pillow and some blankets on the couch for you to sleep on it, if you want. Don't let Tom watch too much telly and put Fred to bed in like half an hour, or he'll be pestering you the whole night", then she turned to her sons. "You'd better behave, young men. If you give Alec a hard time I swear to you there won't be pizza for dinner in one month straight."

Both boys shared a shocked look and then nodded vigorously. Satisfied, Ellie turned to Daisy and led her out, while she wished them goodnight.

The Latimer girls were already waiting for them. They had laid a couple of inflatable mattresses on the living room floor for later, while all three of them were working in the kitchen. They welcomed Ellie and Daisy with hugs and kisses, and invited them to join their cooking.

Laughing and chatting, they spent the next hour and a half cooking a ground beef and cheese-filled pie, and a big chocolate cake. Ellie cherished these moments dearly. The hard months when she thought she'd lost Beth's friendship were still fresh in her mind. Besides, the girls' laughter always made her forget the sad things for a while. Nothing would be the same for any of them, they had been through too much in their lives, but at least they had each other to keep going.

They had dinner late, but they weren't in a hurry, so they could take their time. Even little Lizzie managed to stay up until they were done with dinner. Daisy seemed to be content too. She was a nice, affable girl who felt grateful for being there with them. Even though she didn't talk much at first, her shy smiles were honest, and the rest of the women soon made her feel enough at ease to take part in their jokes and lively chit-chat.

After putting Lizzie to bed, Beth went back downstairs and all the women let Chloe paint their nails as they kept chatting. The girl was specially good at it, and it had become like a tradition for them. Beth and Ellie teased the girls about their love life, and of course Chloe and Daisy struck back, but fortunately no comments were out of line. Ellie noticed that Daisy had glanced at her out of the corner of her eye when Chloe had suggested her to start dating again, but she said nothing on the subject.

To let their chic nails dry off, they decided to start watching a film. Ellie and Beth made popcorn and brought drinks for the girls and a couple of glasses of wine for themselves. They all agreed on 'Boyhood' and sat down comfortably on the floor, the couch or the mattresses. Of course, Ellie cried a few times throughout the film, but none of the others mocked her. One of the best things of girls night was that they didn't have to pretend.

After the film finished, they kept chatting until late with the lights off. One by one, the Latimer girls and Daisy fell asleep. Daisy was sharing one mattress with Chloe, and Beth had claimed the other one for herself, while Ellie stayed on the couch, but she was still too awake to be able to go to bed. Still she lay down eventually to try to relax and let the others rest.

"Ellie", Daisy called her in a hushed voice at some point. "Are you asleep?"

"No", she whispered and sat up.

Daisy left her spot next to Chloe on the mattress carefully and approached the couch on tiptoes. Ellie moved over to make room for the girl by her side.

"You okay?", Ellie asked.

In the darkness of the living room, only the moonlight lit Daisy's features.

"Yes, but… I would like to ask you something that's been bothering me today", the teenager swallowed. "Did… something happen to my dad yesterday when we left?"

Ellie frowned suspiciously. "Why?"

"I don't know. He's been miserable the whole day. We talked about how happy he was just yesterday, remember? And then this morning… he was back to brooding and silence", Daisy paused and then she went on. "Is everything alright between… you two?"

"Why would you jump to the conclusion that your dad's sadness has something to do with me, sweetheart?"

"Because…", the girl hesitated and then looked Ellie in the eye, "because I know you mean a whole lot to him."

Ellie looked away and didn't say anything for a while, pondering Daisy's words. Then she held Alec's daughter's gaze with all the honesty she was capable of.

"He means a lot to me too."

"I know", Daisy sighed. "But I think he doesn't."

"Sometimes, things are more complicated than they seem", Ellie lamented. Daisy sighed again and dropped her eyes to the floor, and Ellie reached out to rub her hand. "But I really care for him."

"I think he's afraid of losing you, you know? That's why he keeps pushing you away. It's crazy, I know, but my dad can be weird. You're his only friend. And I don't want to lose you either."

"You won't", Ellie promised. "I'll always be here for you two, come what may."

"Thank you, Ellie. I'm sorry for this. I'm quite lost."

"You know what? I think you worry too much for a teenager", Ellie reflected with a sad smile.

"I can't help it", Daisy shrugged. "When my dad left, I hated him at first but I also missed him. I'm torn apart about my mum right now too. But I feel like I failed my dad for so long... for not being able to figure out what had happened. I don't want to fail him again."

"That wasn't your fault, Daisy. Adults get things wrong all the time. You can't fix everything around you."

Daisy nodded resigned.

"Let's try to get some sleep, yeah?", Ellie added. "We'll make hot chocolate for breakfast and you'll see things clearer in the morning. Everything's better with a mug of chocolate in your hands."

Ellie smiled again and Daisy's lips curled up too. Then the girl leaned forward and hugged Ellie briefly. God, the poor thing was starving for some love. After patting her back comfortingly, Ellie broke apart and stroked Daisy's cheek with a reassuring nod. Then the teenager went back to her spot on the mattress and laid down slowly, trying not to wake up Chloe.

Some time passed. Bit by bit, Daisy's breathing became heavier until she fell asleep. Ellie waited a few more minutes to make absolutely sure that all the women in the living room were dead to the world and then she got up. Without a noise, she slipped away and opened the front door. Ellie hesitated, but after some seconds, she ground her teeth and went out, shutting the door quietly behind her back.

Trying not to think too much, she covered the small distance between Beth's house and hers in a couple of minutes. When she was approaching her home, Ellie noticed that there was light in her sitting room, and that could only mean one thing. It was really late, but she knew Alec Hardy didn't sleep much. Taking her keys out of her pocket, Ellie opened the front door and then closed it after stepping inside.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alec move to her right. Her DI frowned at her arrival and got up, but only after kindly removing a sleeping Fred from his lap.

"Millah, what are you doing here?", he asked in a very low voice, taking off his glasses.

"I told you to put him to bed or you wouldn't be able to get rid of him."

"I actually did. I even read him a story, but he came back downstairs five minutes later. I don't mind, really. I was just studying some recent reports."

With a nod, Ellie walked past him towards her son and picked him up from the couch. Fred didn't even stir. Then, without a word, she brought the little boy upstairs and back to his bed. Tucking him in, Ellie kissed his chubby cheek and left the room to check on Tom too. The teenager was sound asleep and seemed to be breathing alright, so Ellie went back downstairs more at ease.

The coffee table in the sitting room was still full of papers, but Alec wasn't there anymore. She could hear him rummaging in the kitchen, so she followed the noise and found him making tea.

"Tea?", Alec offered without looking at Ellie.

"It's my house. Shouldn't I be the one doing that?"

Alec shrugged and poured some water into a mug for Ellie under her attentive look. Then, after adding a drop of milk, he placed it on the table in front of her.

"You weren't supposed to come back until tomorrow", he commented leaning against the counter.

"I wanted to check on the boys", Ellie lied, grabbing her mug. "Besides, the girls fell asleep and I couldn't."

Ellie fixed her eyes on Alec's, testing the waters, but after a few seconds, he looked away. Leaving her mug on the table, Ellie opened the door to the back garden and stepped outside. It was dark, but the moonlight was intense enough for her to make out the garden when her eyes got used to the semi-darkness. Ellie sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to calm down. Why did things have to be so difficult? The breeze caressed her skin and messed with her hair, soothing her.

Ten seconds later, Ellie heard Alec's steps behind her. He stopped by her side uncomfortably, his hands in his pockets.

"Ellie."

She raised her eyes to his face. Alec wasn't looking at her, though, but at his feet.

"Are you angry with me?", he whispered in the dark, swallowing.

"No", Ellie shook her head and her eyes filled with tears, the dejection and insecurity in his tone breaking her heart.

"You know?", he said, still not looking at her. His voice sounded a bit choked in Ellie's ears. "There are... songs you just can't dance to."

"Yes, you can, Alec", she assured him, a rebellious tear running down her cheek.

His name on her lips sounded so intimate, so overwhelming, that Alec couldn't help but turn his face to look at her, a expression of despair on his features. His watery eyes shone like silver in the moonlight, completely lost.

"How?”, just one word that sounded like a desperate plea on his lips.

Ellie took a deep, shaky breath and held out her right hand. Closing his eyes tight, as if he wanted to keep his tears at bay, Alec sighed. Then he opened them again and his bandaged hand took Ellie's hesitantly. His fingers were as gentle as always. Ellie kept her eyes fixed on his all the time, because there were so many things she needed him to understand, but she couldn't put them into words yet. With slow movements, she brought their entwined fingers to his chest, right below the spot where his pacemaker was working to keep him alive. Then, her other hand grabbed Alec's arm and put it around her waist.

Alec pulled her closer automatically, without thinking, until her chest was pressed against his. He swallowed and stared into Ellie's eyes for guidance.

“What now?”, he asked in the same lost voice.

“Now you let yourself go”, Ellie answered and started to sway slowly in his arms.

Awkwardly, Alec started to move with her. There was no music to dance to, but it wasn't necessary. After a while Ellie hid her face in Alec's shirt and he pressed his cheek against the top of her head, until their dancing turned into a desperate hug.

They didn't know how long they had been holding each other when Alec whispered.

"Ellie, I'm too broken."

"No more than I am", she replied, still clinging to him. "But I think there's some hope left for the two of us."

"What if… What if you're wrong and this is doomed?"

"That's what life is about, innit?", Ellie said. "You'll never know if you don't even try."

"The last time I… I… was in a relationship, it almost cost me my life", Alec reminded Ellie, but still he tightened his grip on her. "If this… thing between us turned out to be a disaster… my heart would not bear it this time."

"I'll never hurt you consciously, Alec", Ellie assured him as a tear escaped her eyes again. "You mean too much to me. I can't promise you this will work straight away, or that it'll be easy, because… look at us! It started like shit. But I know I want to fight for… this, to give this a chance."

Alec lifted his head from her crown and Ellie leaned slightly back to look him in the eye.

"Y-You're… very important to me too", he confessed a bit embarrassed. "You know I'm terrible at these things, but… but I do care for you. A lot."

"I know", Ellie's heart skipped a bit when she heard his honest words.

Tentatively, Alec let go of Ellie's hand and brought his fingers to her face. He caressed her cheek and jaw with his fingertips, as if her skin were the most precious gem in the world. Then he cupped Ellie's face in his palm, and she leaned into it.

"Are you sure of this?", Alec asked, his eyes boring into hers.

"No", Ellie replied without looking away from him. "But there's nothing I want more."

He leaned down slowly and rested his forehead against Ellie's, the tip of his freckled nose pressed against her cheek, as their breathings mingled in the semi-darkness of the garden.

"I don't know if I can make you happy, Ellie", Alec breathed just an inch away from her lips.

"You already do. In your own stunning, awkward way", she chuckled, shaking with anticipation.

Then Alec closed the distance between them and claimed Ellie's lips. The kiss was gentle, but passionate and messy at the same time, just like their relationship. Both had wanted to do this for ages, even if they hadn't been aware of it, but their bodies acted out of pure instinct and the kiss became both the hottest and the most tender one of their lives so far.

When they broke apart, they looked at each other completely enthralled and speechless. There were so many things they would have to sort out with time, but what they both were completely sure of was that they wanted to keep kissing each other for the rest of the night, to begin with.

Gently, Ellie placed her hand over the one Alec still kept on her cheek and grabbed it. Then she dragged him inside the house, her eyes not leaving his, and led him back to the sitting room, their tea mugs long forgotten on the kitchen table. Alec stood there awkwardly while Ellie switched off the lights. She knew him well enough to try and make things easier for him. In the moonlight, she saw his face relax visibly. She reached for his hand again and both sat down on the couch, impossibly closer to each other.

Their mouths met again, and then again and again until they lost count of how many times they had kissed. They'd been wishing to do this for so long that there were too many kisses to catch up on. They took their time exploring each other's lips and tongues, learning the many ways they could make each other moan.

Alec leaned back eventually to breathe, his arms around Ellie's body, her hands on his bearded cheeks. She caressed them softly, so out of breath that her own cheeks were flustered under the moonlight. Alec's eyes were full of shock and adoration when he fixed his gaze on her.

"You're bloody marvelous", Alec whispered in awe.

“Soppy”, Ellie chuckled a bit embarrassed, and hid her face in his neck, breathing in his characteristic smell.

Alec pulled her closer and hugged her tight, still not fully believing his luck. After so long, he was finally able to show Ellie Miller how much he cared for her, how much she meant to him, how much he wanted her. And in time, he hoped she would let him show her how much he loved her, but it may still be a bit too soon for that.

A while later, Alec noticed that Ellie had relaxed so much in his arms that she had started to doze off. She must be exhausted.

"Ellie", he called softly.

"Hmm…"

"You're falling asleep. Shouldn't you… go back to Beth's?"

Ellie sat up massaging her neck and shook her head.

"No. I closed the door shut when I left, so I couldn't go back without waking them", she explained in a sleepy voice.

"Okay, go to bed, then", Alec instructed, helping her get up from the couch.

"Maybe I could... sleep here with you", she suggested, then her eyes opened in shock and looked at him blushing. "I mean… just that. Sleeping."

Alec blushed too and smiled reassuringly. "I know."

There would be time for… other activities when they felt comfortable enough with each other's touches and their growing intimacy. This amazing thing that had been growing between them for years was definitely not a race. There wasn't a finish line they had to reach before they were ready. Navigating the stages of their relationship one at a time would be the greatest adventure of them all.

"Isn't this couch a bit too small for the two of us?", Alec inquired.

Ellie shot him a condescending look and then she bent down to grab the edge of the seat. Pulling out hard, said seat expanded and doubled its size. With a satisfied smile, Ellie put her hands on her hips and glanced at Alec again. He didn't say anything, just threw one arm around her waist and pulled her into another hug.

“What about your kids? If they...”

“Stop worrying, Alec. We have nothing to hide, okay? Plus, I don't thing this is going to be a shock for any _three_ of them, to be honest...”

Alec nodded against her hair. If Tom and Fred were as clever as his cheeky Daisy, he was sure they would have figured out what he and Ellie felt for each other ages ago. He leaned back and kissed Ellie's forehead tenderly. Then both lay down on the couch awkwardly, making room for each other, and threw the blankets over themselves. Ellie hesitated at first, the memory of that weird night when they had shared a hotel bed two years ago still fresh in her mind, but when Alec stretched out his arm towards her, she finally snuggled closer and rested her head on his shoulder.

And she felt that suddenly it all made sense. None of them could remember the last time they'd been so at peace with this crazy world that had nearly ruined their lives. They knew things between them would never be easy: their personalities were so different, they worked together, they had kids that needed a great deal of attention, and the gossiping tongues would never leave them alone. But their bond had been strengthening for years without them even knowing, which was an amazing reason to take a leap of faith towards each other at last.

As her breathing grew heavier, Ellie smiled to herself. She felt Alec's lips on her temple as he kissed her one last time, and a wonderful sensation of warmth she thought she would never feel again wrapped her up in a fluffy blanket of... love. Who would have said that Alec Hardy was truly a sweetheart under all those layers of grouchiness. Bit by bit, Ellie fell asleep in Alec's arms for the first time, but hopefully, not the last.

Alec, on his part, couldn't help but worry a bit about the unknown. He was still scared, because it was a mystery what the future had in store for them, but he trusted Ellie with his life. He might as well start trusting her with his heart. Seeing her there peacefully asleep in his arms, after all he'd been through, made him believe in goodness again, because -he still didn't know how- this woman had saved his life and soul with her kindness. And, in a way, he knew he had saved hers too.

Perhaps not every song could be danced to, but this one… this one they would. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, my friends. I'm sorry, but I'm so bad at ending my stories. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the whole process!
> 
> Thanks for reading, you're out-bloody-standing!


End file.
